flamingice_28

Fic

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:10:52 GMT

Title: Dark Pleasures
Author : flamingice_28
Pairing : Tenpou x Konzen 838
Rating : NC-17 ( for mature readers )

Dark Pleasures

It was once said that a man could die of boredom in heaven. Nothing seems to be going on to interest a man in place that is considered perfect. There are no crimes that require investigating or sinful pleasures that would drown a man in happiness as in Down There.

Then again, gods cannot die.

So the mundane unexciting things in heaven could only serve a slow and painful existence. There was nothing worth living for, nothing to forward to. It was even more torturous than the lives lead by those Down There.

However, once someone has his/her mind fixed on something, then there have something worth loving for, something to look forward to. And in the mind of one brilliant strategist, field marshal Tenpou Gensui had found his something.

He had thought in his endless years of existence that things would just keep going on the same. When he closed his eyes and night and opened them in the morning, there was nothing more to look forward to. To fill that void, he had turned to books. Books were filled with ideas that those Down There came up with. Books were his constant companion. They filled his mind with the most wonderful things that is very unlikely in heaven. A perfect example would be a war.

Those Down There seem to have excellent reasons for waging a war and their strategies both amused and exasperated him. He studies them and picked out whatever he thought was ridiculous and filled his mind with the endless possibilities and strategies.

It was during one of his visits Down There that he found quite a controversial and interesting reading material.

A love story.

A romance between two men, forever trapped by the prejudices in the society they lived in.

It was a wonderful story, so poignant, so moving and so befitting.

Yet it wasn’t the book or his experiences or even his feelings that made him finally realize that things can change and has changed and will continue to change.

And he was counting on that change.

It was the appearance and presence of Goku.

Word travels of course. He had heard it, the rumors that the Goddess of Mercy had handed over a creature taken from Down There to the care of her ever elusive nephew, Konzen Douji. It had piqued his curiosity.
It came as quite a surprise to see that the young heretical creature was a young boy (as far as Konzen was concerned, he was a monkey), with a great big smile and boundless of energy. He also had a name. Goku.

Tenpou was shocked but he kept his feelings coolly masked. For some odd reason, this young boy had done something Tenpou had failed to do for many years. He had broken through the mask and wall that Konzen had insisted on building and touched his heart.

He had never seen anything but papers in Konzen’s room. Now, there was a small vase with a flower. He had never heard anything but silence or the faintest sound of paper rustling from Konzen’s room. Now, there was laughter and shouts. He had never seen anyone spend much time in Konzen’s room (or in Konzen’s presence for that matter). Now the group of four had become accustomed to each other’s presence.

Things change and so do gods.

It gave him hope but he knew better than to charge in full power. He was a strategist after all. He could be patient. For to finally have his heart’s desires, he could wait. Really, there was no hurry.

None at all.

XXX

Tenpou was walking back from a meeting with Gojun. He was really wondering what the Dragon King meant by asking him to keep a closer eye on Kenren. Honestly, he knew how controversial his general was but he had no heart to stop Kenren from doing all he wanted. After all, life in heaven can be quite boring.

The flowers were blooming so beautifully nowadays. Tenpou wondered secretly if it was because they were all celebrating Konzen’s finally coming into society. The blonde had started to show his face more and more outside the safety zone of his office.

Tenpou chuckled silently as he thought of Konzen. He wanted to see his childhood friend soon. He had been so occupied by a new book he found that he had forgotten everything else. The desire to see Konzen heightened and he quicken his steps.

Just as he was about to walk around the last corner to the other building, Tenpou stopped short. Before him was a sight he had never seen and never wanted to see.

Konzen and Kenren were in the garden and the flowers were blooming all around them. Kenren had his arms around Konzen and he was kissing the blonde senseless!

Tenpou watched Konzen throw his head back and the red flush across his cheeks. His eyes were glazed and unfocused. It was a sight Tenpou had seen many times in his dreams (but none came close to how tempting Konzen looked at that moment) but the person he saw Konzen with was definitely not his general!

Just for a moment he was tempted to march down there and beat the hell out of Kenren. But he schooled his feature, adjusted his glasses and walked away. If anyone noticed the chill in his eyes, they mercifully did not comment.

Maybe Gojun was right. Kenren was getting a bit too wild.
XXX

Before the appearance of one monkey, Konzen had spent his time mostly in his room. He rarely bothered to go out. If his aunt caught him, there would be more trouble. There would be more work. Konzen preferred to avoid all those unnecessary things. He was not by any means content but he had long ago accepted that things in heaven never change. There was no need to.

Why did he need to change? Was he going to go anywhere? He doubted it. His job was to stamp official letters. Those letters did not change. They never did. When he looked out of his windows, the sky was the same. The flowers were the same. The people were the same. There was no reason to change.

He had accepted that.

Then, she had to go and change everything by throwing the monkey at him.

Goku’s cheerfulness and innocence tugged at his heart. He had wondered how the monkey could do that. Due to Goku’s insistence, he had come to view the never changing flowers as something else. Now, he could see their beauty. The clear sky seems to promise something more. Goku made him see that too. Goku had also got rid of these feelings of loneliness. He had been lonely but only because he felt no one really deserved his attention. Now, he had Goku, Tenpou and Kenren. It was odd what a group they made. They attracted people’s attentions. It was unnerving.

It also came with its own set of problems. He had sensed that Litouten did not like Goku and was keeping Nataku away from his young charge. It unsettled Konzen. He could not help but wonder why. The dejected look in Goku’s eyes whenever he returned without being able to see Nataku made Konzen feel for him. He did not like to see Goku unhappy. As much as the monkey annoyed him, Goku belonged to Konzen and Konzen always took his responsibilities seriously.

It was those responsibilities that brought him to Litouten’s room.

It was not a very impressive room, in Konzen’s opinion. He never really cared much for guards. The guards standing by the door seemed overdone somehow. Yet it suited Litouten. Litouten craved attention and power. Konzen could see that in his eyes. He could also see the satisfaction in Litouten’s eyes that the nephew of the Merciful Goddess had come to him.

“What may I do for you, Konzen Douji?” Litouten asked as he sat stood before Konzen, leaning against the table, a hip propped there for balance. His eyes took in Konzen’s appearance, studying him closely.

It took all of Konzen’s efforts not to say something sarcastic and walk away. The instant dislike he felt seemed unjustifiable somehow. The man had not done anything yet…

“I was wondering if you have any reservations regarding my charge?” Konzen asked straight to the point. He noticed the surprise in Litouten’s eyes and filed it away.

“Your charge? Ah, you mean the problematic heretic that walks around shackled? Why do you ask me that?” Litouten asked instead as he took in the golden strands falling softly against Konzen’s face. He had always noticed the beauty that was Konzen but was never in the position to do anything about it.

“It seems your people have kept Goku from meeting with Nataku Taishi. Is there any particular reason?” Konzen said as he remained standing, unwilling to sit on the seat offered to him. His body was on high alert. Something made him feel like running away.

Litouten just shrugged, looking vastly amused. “Nataku is a fighting god. He needs his rest. Your charge is only disturbing him. For future reference, I do not like Nataku wasting time on your charge. He has other obligations.”

Konzen frowned. “Nataku Taishi is but a child. Goku is of the same age. I do not think spending time once in a while is hazardous to them. It might actually help Nataku. Anyways, I only wanted to ask you to tell your people to stop refusing Goku entry or permission to see Nataku. If the fighting god needs to practice or has work to do, all is fine. Otherwise, I believe it is pointless to keep them apart.”

Litouten laughed as he looked at Konzen. “I suppose your hereditary position makes you think you have a right to make that demand. Perhaps you do but I will not allow it. Unless…” Litouten allowed the sentence to hand making Konzen almost shift as the other man’s gaze fell on him. Litouten lifted a hand and brushed it across Konzen’s cheek making those amethyst eyes snap wide open. “Unless we can come to a certain agreement.”

Konzen reflexively pushed Litouten’s hand away with a curse. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Litouten?”

Litouten smirked as he took a step towards Konzen. The blonde took one back but suddenly his arms were grabbed and he was pulled in front. Litouten gripped the bare skin above Konzen’s gloves and pulled him against him. He leaned against Konzen’s ears and whispered darkly, “I am willing to give you some leeway if you are willing to fulfill a fantasy of mine regarding you, Konzen.”

Anger and disgust burst inside Konzen. With a violent oath, he tried to push Litouten away. Yet before he could do anything, Goku burst inside.

“Konzen? You okay?” Goku asked as he ran in. Goku stopped short when he saw Litouten grip Konzen tightly. “Hey! What are you doing to Konzen?”

Litouten wisely let Konzen go. The latter took a few steps back and glared at him, anger obvious in his eyes.

“Well?”

“If you think for one moment that I will give in to your sick fantasy, you are crazy. Come, Goku.”

Goku turned and looked back at Litouten as he followed Konzen out. He would never forget the hatred in those eyes that looked at him and Konzen. It made Goku worry.

As he fell into step beside Konzen, he noticed the tender flesh exposed to the air. He remembered Litouten gripping Konzen.

“Hey, Konzen, are you okay?”

The worry in Goku’s voice made Konzen sigh. He stopped and turned to regard his young charge. His eyes softened a bit and he absently placed a hand on Goku’s head.

“I’m fine. I have some work to do. Go and disturb Tenpou or Kenren for now. I’ll see you later.”

There were no arguments from Goku. He knew instinctively that something was wrong but he did not know what to do. However the name Tenpou gave him an idea and he went to find his favorite friend.

The moment Goku left, Konzen hurried to his room and slipped inside. The moment the door closed, he slid down the floor and hugged himself. His whole body was trembling. The disgust and horror he felt when Litouten gripped him and made his suggestion came rushing back in full force. Konzen had never engaged much with people.

He was starting to regret leaving his safety zone.

XXX

Goku ran all the way to Tenpou’s office. He was very worried about Konzen. He hoped that Tenpou would be able to help his guardian.

As he reached Tenpou’s makeshift library, he saw Kenren approaching the marshal’s office.

“Ken-niichan!”

“Goku! What are you doing here? Where’s that grumpy guardian of yours?” Kenren asked as he took a deep drag from his smoke. Goku frowned when he called Konzen grumpy.

“Konzen’s not here. I’ve come to see Ten-chan. I need his help!” Goku replied as he rushed in. Kenren frowned.

“About what?”

Tenpou looked up as two familiar voices and a name broke his concentration.

“Hello Goku, Kenren. Why are you here? Where’s Konzen?”

Goku instantly went over to Tenpou and looked him right in the eye.

“I think Konzen is having problems, Ten-chan!”

That instantly grabbed Tenpou’s attention. “Problems?”

Goku nodded his head enthusiastically. “You see he went to see that mean guy that you went and saw when Ken-niichan was hurt. He left me outside with the guards and told me he will only be awhile. Then I felt something was wrong. It was as though Konzen was scared!”

Tenpou frowned as he adjusted his glasses. “Scared? But Konzen does not get scared.”

Goku nodded over and over. “That’s what I thought. So I pushed past the guards and went in. Guess what I saw! That evil man was gripping Konzen’s arms really tightly and he was saying something near Konzen’s ears. Whatever it was made Konzen really furious and frightened! Then just now, he told me to leave him alone and he wanted to do some work but he was really pale and all…I don’t know what to do!”

Kenren rubbed his chin. “Looks like Litouten had found an interesting toy.”

The golden-eyed boy turned to look at Kenren. “A toy? I did not see one anywhere.”

The general laughed easily and rubbed Goku’s head. “It’s a special kinda toy that Konzen has, saru. Trust me, it is something many people want.”

“Kenren!”

They turned towards the annoyed marshal and Kenren felt something amiss. Tenpou ignored him and looked at Goku.

“I’ll check Konzen out and see what his problem is, okay? Meanwhile, I want you to stay with Ken-niichan. Can you do that for me, Goku?” Tenpou asked with a smile. Goku nodded happily.

“HAI!”

“Well then, I’ll be leaving now. Kenren, watch Goku.” Tenpou ordered as he walked past them. Even as he walked past Kenren, he whispered, making sure Goku did not catch what he was saying. “I’ll deal with you later.”

It took the general three seconds to realize that the look in Tenpou’s eyes mirrored the day he went to confront Litouten on Kenren’s behalf.

It made the general feel a bit uncomfortable as he wondered what his marshal could have meant.

XXX

He wanted to march over to Litouten’s and beat the hell out of that man but he did not. He had a more important person to meet and whether that god wanted him there or not was not his concern.

Konzen’s door was closed but that never failed to keep Tenpou out. However, as it was unlocked, he did not need to force it open.

Konzen was sitting by the window, his eyes closed and his head resting against the cool glass. Sunlight danced across his skin, creating a halo like image around him. In his hands he was holding the flower Goku had picked up the other day. His fingers stroked the petals gently as though he was trying to memorize its texture.

A very sudden and violent jealousy snuck up inside of Tenpou. He was jealous of Goku. He was jealous of Kenren. He was jealous of Litouten. He was jealous of everyone.

As though he sensed Tenpou there, Konzen opened his eyes slowly. Tenpou just watched as purple orb were slowly revealed and focused on him. Then, Konzen frowned before sighing in agitation.

“I should have known better than to send the monkey to you.”

Tenpou shrugged and leaned opposite Konzen, eyeing his love interest with a look in his eyes that made Konzen squirm.

“He is very worried about you. And frankly speaking, so am I. What were you thinking, Konzen?” Tenpou admonished, still keeping his feelings in check.

Konzen shrugged carelessly. His eyes had an almost faraway look. “He seems so lost. I’ve never wanted to do anything for anyone before. But he seemed so sad and so lost…”

The clutch around Tenpou’s heart tightened and the green monster only increased his rage. “Is that so?”

The blonde did not catch the fake mildness in the marshal’s words. He was thinking too much about his pet. “Litouten would never let Nataku near Goku. How am I supposed to explain that to him? Damn kid is always so hyped when he says he is going to see Nataku.”

“Is that so? Then can you please care to explain why Litouten had his hands on you, Konzen? Or are you going to tell me it had something to do with Goku as well?”

This time, Konzen looked at Tenpou. He stared at the brunette before looking away warily. He felt so tired suddenly. “I knew there was a reason I preferred my solitude. Litouten made an interesting proposal. One that he knew I would not accept and yet…”

Curiosity spiked, Tenpou listened carefully. “Proposal?”

“Aa. He wanted me in exchange for Goku to meet up with Nataku. Interesting…and downright idiotic. He should have known that someone like me would never agree…Wonder if he was trying to find out how deep I got it for the saru.”

Tenpou’s mind had shut down somewhere between ‘proposal’ and ‘wanted’. He could not believe Litouten had the cheek to even suggest something so outrageous. He looked at Konzen but the blonde was so focused elsewhere.

This really has to stop.

It seems as though everyone he knew is making a move on the ice prince except for him. It was unacceptable.

“You really like people’s hands on you, don’t you Konzen?” Tenpou asked, his voice darkening. Konzen frowned and focused on his friend.

“What are you saying, Tenpou? You know I do not like people pawing me!”

“So you say,” Tenpou said as he moved closer to the blonde. Shocked, Konzen moved away from the window and began to shift backwards. This situation seems eerily familiar.

“Stop this, Tenpou! I have had enough shit for today! I do not want to deal with you.”

Tenpou’s eyes sharpened on Konzen and he reached out to grab the blonde, hauling him against the marshal’s long lean form. “Well, looks like you have to deal with me whether you want to or not. Frankly, Konzen, I am tired of putting up with your walls. If you can let everyone else in, you are going to damn well let me in as well!”

“What the hell are you going on about? Damn it! Get your hands off me. Why the hell do you people keep doing this?” Konzen yelled as he struggled against the tight grip of Tenpou’s hands. Tenpou only tightened his grip further.

“If you keep struggling, Konzen, it will only hurt more. Stop struggling.”

Konzen stared, mouth wide open at the careless suggestion in Tenpou’s voice. “Stop struggling? You want me to stop struggling when you have your hands on me? Are you out of you fucking mind?”
Tenpou only frowned. He reached over and pressed Konzen’s body against his, one hand trapping both the blonde’s wrists behind his back, pushing Konzen’s chest against his own. Konzen hissed from the slight pain of discomfort.

“ Tenpou!”

Tenpou’s eyes narrowed. He leaned in and saw Konzen trying to back away. Anger and resentment filled him at the obvious reluctance.

“You allow Kenren to kiss you but you can’t stand my kiss. You allowed him to hold you and resent my touch. What does he have that I don’t, Konzen? Do you find his philandering ways more attractive than my faithfulness to you?” Tenpou asked furiously. The blonde met his eyes, shock clearly reveling in them.

“What are you talking about?”

“You think I did not see the two of you, in broad daylight, under the cherry blossom trees. For a god who never appreciated beauty, you sure know where to choose to have your stolen kisses.”

The memory of Kenren’s forceful kiss awoke in Konzen’s mind and he growled. “That general of yours forced himself on me. It was never requited.”

Tenpou only arched a perfect eyebrow. “You would think I would believe that. But really, Konzen, years of knowing me would show you I do not simply take others words in faith. Yet, maybe after so many years, you really still do not know me. Do you want to know me, Konzen?”

Konzen struggled against Tenpou’s hold, knowing full well what the brunette meant. He wasn’t ready for this, dammit! He was still new to this whole socializing thing. Getting involved with someone was not in the agenda. He had more pressing things to do.

“Tenpou, right now, I have no strength to handle you. My mind is full of Goku’s problems and how I am going to deal with that. I do not want to deal with you as well. Unhand me and we’ll forget about this.”

“Goku, Goku, Goku! That is all you talk about nowadays, Konzen. How has that child bewitched you? Or do you see him more than a child, Konzen? I am sure he will do exactly as you say.”

The implications in Tenpou’s words hit Konzen hard and he became instantly furious. “How dare you!? I never thought of him as anything else but a child and my charge. If I am worried about him, it is because I do not want him to get into trouble! Let go of me, Tenpou! You are going too far with this madness of yours!”

Tenpou sighed and eyed the flushed blonde in his arms.

“Looks like we have to do this the hard way. Really, Konzen, I thought by now you would know me better. I never give up and I never give in. Fight me all you want, you stubborn fool, but in the end, you will submit to me!”

Konzen glared at his childhood friend. “I will not!”

“We’ll see.”

He dragged Konzen easily towards the next room and locked the door. All the while, Konzen’s struggling amounted to no use. His hands were firmly secured in Tenpou’s grip and the more he struggled, the more painful he got. Never had Konzen realized how strong Tenpou was or how large his hands were. It made him panic that he could not figure a way out of this. The look in Tenpou’s eyes also showed that he had no intention of stopping until he had what he needed.

For many years, Konzen had prided himself with the spare room he decorated beside his office. It had a large bed, comfortably stashed with pillows and a warm quilt. The headboard of his bed was decorated with complex wines and flowers. Across the bed, leaning against the wall was an armchair. A huge comfortable one where Konzen would curl whenever he felt like it. There was a small coffee table at the side with some documents on it. The room was carpeted and the curtains were often closed. However today, the curtains were wide open, allowing the sunlight to fill the room, brightening up the usually dark place.

Today, Konzen wished he never created that room. It was his secret place but if Tenpou manages to go ahead with whatever plan he has, Konzen doubts he could look at the room the same.

“Tenpou!”

“I really do not plan on gagging you. I like it when my partners get vocal. It stimulates the atmosphere, don’t you agree?”

“Whatever happened to faithfulness, huh?” Konzen snarled as he tried helplessly to escape.

Tenpou just looked at him, an unreadable expression in his eyes. “You better be grateful that there was someone else warming my bed. Otherwise, this would have happened a long time ago.”

“It does not need to happen at all!”

“Not true, Konzen, not true. You see, everyone seems to have their eyes on you. I need them all to know you belong to me.”

“Like hell I do!”

Tenpou smile, an eerily confident smile. “You do belong to me. By the end of this day, I will make you say it.”

Konzen felt his heart hammering violently. He could only yelp when he was suddenly and unceremoniously flung on the bed. Before he could more, the marshal quickly pulled up his tight shirt and bound it over his wrists. He then slipped his belt from his pants and looped it over Konzen’s hands and firmly tied it on the headboard. The wines and flowers that used to pride Konzen, now only served to annoy him. Damn this man! He was just too fast!

Tenpou looked at Konzen, arms tied above his head and the top half of his body bare to his eyes. He licked his lips and hummed in appreciation at the fragile beauty before him. Truly, Kanzeon Bosatsu’s nephew was a beauty. Long soft golden strands were spread wildly on the bed. Konzen’s lean body was fair and his skin unblemished. His nipples were pink and his bellybutton was perfectly shaped. It reminded Tenpou of a small cup and he wondered if he would ever get a chance of drinking sake from Konzen’s bellybutton. It was quite a thought.

Konzen struggled once more without success. His eyes widen when he saw Tenpou slip out of his robe and removed his clothes. When he was butt naked, he turned and stared at Konzen, revealing his hard length. His friend did it with such ease and quiet patience that Konzen could not help but shiver in both anticipation and fright. Yet the sight of Tenpou scared him. It only brought his current problem to the surface.

He had never done this before.

What if Tenpou thought he had experience? How was he going to handle that? He had never been in this position before. He did not know what to do! Urgh! People complain when he isolates himself but if these things keep happening, is that much of a wonder?

The tall, naked brunette leaned on top of Konzen, smirking when he heard the blonde’s breath catch at the feel of their unclothe bodies rubbing against one another.

“Tenpou…”

“Shh…it’s going to be alright,” Tenpou murmured as he caught Konzen’s lips in a searing kiss.

It was different that Kenren’s kiss, Konzen thought as he struggled against Tenpou. It was darker, more passionate. Tenpou kissed him as though he was dying and Konzen was his lifeline. His lips moved roughly against Konzen’s drawing out a moan from the smaller man. His lips were sweet and slightly chapped. Konzen tried to avoid allowing the kiss to get deeper but Tenpou kept a hand firmly on Konzen’s head. He then softened his kiss, allowing him to taste the blonde. Bright emerald eyes watched as shocked amethyst ones fluttered close.

Needing more, wanting more, Tenpou drew a hand down and caught Konzen’s nipple. Instantly, the long haired man opened his mouth to cry out and Tenpou took the opportunity to sneak his tongue inside. The feel of Tenpou’s warm weight on his own tongue, tasting and feeling, and the feel of his hand playing with his sensitive nipple made Konzen cry out and his body arched into Tenpou’s hold.

Tenpou had not countered on the oversensitive body of his friend. He marveled at how the simplest touch made Konzen react. It just made him think of all the things he could do to the man. Tenpou continued kissing Konzen, distracting him so that the blonde would cease his fighting but he had no such luck. It seems Konzen still had his wits about him.

Leaving the blonde delectable mouth, Tenpou kissed Konzen’s jaws before moving up to his ears and bit the delicate skin there. The untouched blonde squirmed at the odd sensations he was feeling and moaned even louder before he could stop himself.

Konzen could not believe it was actually happening. The feel of Tenpou on him excited him. He had never indulged in the pleasures of the flesh and wondered if it was normal to feel so turned on. As it was, he could feel Tenpou’s hardness on his stomach. It only served to arouse him even more. It was these new feelings that caused him to panic.

“Tenpou…enough!”

Tenpou drew back and frowned. “If you are still able to think and still able to say ‘no’, I am apparently not doing a good job.”

‘Oh, hell!’ Konzen thought as Tenpou continued to kiss his face and neck.

The sudden bite on his neck caused him to cry out in surprise and pain. He had truly not been expecting that. The sound of Konzen’s voice only spurred Tenpou’s actions.

He slowly licked and nibbled on the skin before him until he came to the two hard nubs on Konzen’s body. With a satisfied smirk, he touched the tip of Konzen’s right nipple with his tongue. He watched as Konzen bit his lips from crying out, his body writhing under Tenpou’s. Tenpou continued to these the nipple with light flickers of his tongue and then very suddenly, he closed his mouth over the bud and suckled. Konzen screamed. The intensity of the feelings he felt only made him lose his composure. Tenpou continued to suckle and taste the tight but before biting down gently on it. He heard the blonde whimper and smirked against his skin.

Without licking to cool the biting sensation, he turned his head and paid equal attention to the other neglected nipple. He licked and sucked and bit. All the while, his finger played with Konzen’s right nipple, pinching and tugging it. The mixture of pleasure and pain brought tears to the blonde’s eyes.

“Tenpou!”

‘Louder! I want you to scream louder!’ the field marshal thought as he finally worked his way down. Even then, he left his hands on their original targets, turning, twisting and pinching the two tight buds now reddened from his rough ministrations.

He wanted more.

Everyone else needed to know that Konzen belonged only to him. They needed to know.

With that one thought in mind, Tenpou kissed his way lower, biting Konzen’s soft sensitive skin, marking the blonde.

When he came to Konzen’s pants, he did not immediately remove it. Instead, he nuzzled his face against the tight pants. Konzen groaned and raised his hips, innocently trying to get more contact. Tenpou’s smirk widen. With his teeth, he undid the buckle, but knowing he could not remove the pants without using his hands, he stopped his ministrations on Konzen’s abused nipples.

Feeling hands on his hips and pants, Konzen once more struggled, panicking even more.

“Tenpou, don’t! Stop, please! I’m really not ready for this!”

The field marshal looked up at Konzen and the blonde’s breathe caught on his throat at the emotion he saw in his friend’s eyes.

Tenpou was not planning to stop anytime soon.

“Don’t worry. You’ll have to do it sometime soon, anyway.”

Konzen could feel the blood cheerfully leave his face. “Tenpou, I have never done this before.”

Tenpou’s gaze softened at the unvoiced panic in the blonde’s words. Konzen was afraid and maybe…he had been too rough. His anger and jealousy had blinded him.

He removed the rest of Konzen’s pants and threw them on the floor before sitting back on his heels and admiring the view.

The sun touch each curve and dips in Konzen’s sexy body, making the sweat glisten and the saliva coated nipples glitter in its wake. Konzen’s semi-hard cock only made Tenpou lick his lips in anticipation but he knew better now than to simply take. He had to reassure his friend. This encounter is not worth the pain. The pain can come in later, with more experience.

That thought in mind, he leaned over Konzen, both of them instantly moaning at the feel of their cocks rubbing together. The friction and heat aroused Konzen and he was slowly getting hard. Tenpou smiled at that making the blonde turn his head away in shame.

Looking at the vulnerable look in his friend’s eyes, Tenpou tugged Konzen’s chin and forced him to look at Tenpou. He leaned then and kissed the blonde gently, assuring him with light kisses that slowly increased in passion. Konzen struggled against his bindings, the urge to hold on to Tenpou was strong but he could not do so.

Tenpou continued to kiss Konzen before moving south once more. By now, both men were hard and rugged breathing and panting were the only noises in the room.

Tenpou kissed each exposed skin reverently and when he reached Konzen’s nipples, he sucked on them gently and marveled at the lusty noises his friend made. He eased the pleasurable ache in both nubs before continuing his journey south, worshipping every expense of skin.

When he took Konzen into his mouth, he heard the blonde scream once more, just his name in his breathy, lusty voice that made Tenpou’s cock twitch with want and need. The pearly drop of pre-come smeared the bed sheet.

Konzen’s cock was hard and yet the skin was smooth. The taste of his pre-come in Tenpou’s mouth was bitter and yet sweet at the same time. Tenpou could only associate that taste with Konzen. He slowly took Konzen into his mouth and then slowly drew back before plunging in once more.

By now, Konzen was covered with a thin film of sweat, his eyes a deep dark amethyst shade and his mind was cheerfully blank. He could think of nothing beyond the amazing pleasure he received from Tenpou. Then, Tenpou slowly engulfed him once more before he sucked. Konzen cried out, his hands trying hard to free themselves and his hips rose up to meet Tenpou’s warmth. He had never felt such intense pleasure before!

Tenpou sucked Konzen’s cock hard and hummed his approval at the noises Konzen made. The vibration only increased the sensations already flooding through Konzen and he threw his head back as he cried out in need. The sight of Konzen’s head thrown back in desire, his eyes wide and dark, hands over his head and body filmed with sweat made Tenpou’s cock pulse and twitch. Not wanting to end this encounter quickly, Tenpou stroked himself in time with his ministrations on Konzen’s cock.

Easing himself, he reached out and stroked Konzen’s balls and rubbed the sensitive skin under his sacs. Konzen choked and writhed under Tenpou’s masterful touch, begging without words for the release that would make this craziness disappear.

Tenpou himself was breathing pretty hard. He truly wanted to pound into Konzen’s ass but he knew he had to be a bit more patient. Now that they were here, why rush the experience? Once he felt Konzen was near his peak, he used his teeth and scraped lightly at Konzen’s cock and at the same time, he stroked Konzen’s balls faster.

Feelings rushed inside of him and Konzen screamed out Tenpou’s name as he came in the man’s mouth. Tenpou did not back away. Instead he took in as much as he could and swallowed Konzen’s come. He rose from his position and smirked at Konzen, watching the blonde try to gain his breathing back as he licked Konzen’s come from his fingers.

Konzen closed his eyes and refused to look at Tenpou. He refused to acknowledge how wantonly he had acted and sounded. He had never been this unrestrained before. The knowledge was so new, so foreign that he did not know how to react.

“Do you think we are done, Konzen? It is far from over,” Tenpou grinned as he leaned over the blond.

“Let me go, Tenpou.”

Tenpou sighed and pressed kiss on Konzen’s forehead. “Unfortunately, I can’t do that. If I do, you will probably find a way to escape. Just lay back and enjoy, won’t you?”

Konzen grit his teeth. He truly wondered if he was prepared for more.

“I don’t think I can anymore.”

Tenpou laughed easily as he pressed light kisses over Konzen’s body. “I don’t think so.”

He reached down and stroked the limp flesh to live once more. Konzen grit his teeth against making any sound as he found himself pushing upwards to meet Tenpou’s hand. He heard the husky laughter of Tenpou’s but could not stop his actions. It was as though his body had a life of its own.

Once Konzen was truly hard, Tenpou went down on him once more. This time, as he sucked Konzen, he slipped a well lubed finger on Konzen’s tight hole. The blonde jerked against him and tried to wriggle away but a firm hand kept him in place. Tenpou kept his mouth on Konzen and his finger slowly eased its way inside the fragile blonde.

Konzen cried out in pain, his eyes watering once more and Tenpou had to grit his own teeth in order not to rush. He slowly pushed and pulled his finger from Konzen’s tight hole, waiting until the blonde adjusted to his intrusion.

“Are you okay?” Tenpou asked rather breathlessly. Konzen tried to glare at him but failed as Tenpou begin to move the finger around to stretch him.

“Shit!”

“Konzen?”

“It hurts!”

“I know. I’m sorry. It’ll get better soon,” Tenpou murmured as he returned to the neglected cock. Konzen whimpered as he felt Tenpou’s heat around him once more.

Once he was sure Konzen had adjusted to him, he slipped in another well coated finger to scissor him. By now, Konzen was both swamped with pleasure and pain, helpless to the feelings his body felt.

When Konzen was near to his release, Tenpou pulled back and let his cock fall noisily out of his mouth.

“What the hell!?”

“You are not the only one who gains pleasure from this, Konzen,” Tenpou admonished playfully as he spread Konzen’s legs wide open and hooked them over his shoulders. At the fear in Konzen’s eyes, his own softened and murmured nonsensical words into Konzen’s ears as he slipped into him.

The sudden penetration drew a scream out of the blonde. Tears fell on the pillow. His head fell forward and he wanted to push Tenpou away. Yet the knots on his hands kept his painful attempts at bay.

“Damn it! It hurts!”

Tenpou looked worriedly at the love of his life and made sure he did not move. He forced himself to remain still despite the overwhelming tightness and warmth he felt inside Konzen. Konzen was so tight and so incredible. He wanted to simply pound the man to the bed. Instead, he bit his lips, leaned forward and kissed Konzen’s tears away, aware that the blonde was unaware he actually had tears in the first place. Konzen whimpered against Tenpou, his pained cry muffled against Tenpou’s body. Perhaps it was his sadistic streak, but the brunette loved the sight of those glittering tears on Konzen’s face. As much as he wanted to see this face again, he was going to die if he didn’t move soon.

“Konzen?” Tenpou called out, his voice oddly strangled. “I can’t hold back anymore.”

Konzen nodded against Tenpou’s shoulder, the only permission the marshal had to move. Tenpou did not bother to think twice. He pulled out and then plunged in once more, amazed at the tightness he felt.

When he changed his angle slightly, he felt Konzen’s sudden cry of pure surprise and pleasure and angled there once more. Soon, the two of them were matching each other’s rhythm. Tenpou increased his pace, driving wildly in Konzen. The hiss of pleasure and pain, a feeling Konzen did not get tired of feeling, tore inside him. Somehow, during the whole encounter, it was the most intense thing he felt.

“Konzen!”

“Tenpou!”

Their release came together. White pearly come shot out of Konzen’s cock to cover his sweaty body. Some landed on his face. Tenpou came inside him and held on to Konzen until every last drop was sucked out. Then, he fell limply on the tired man.

They lay like that for several minutes, their harsh panting and breathing once more filled the room. Feeling smothered, Konzen tried to get away but Tenpou’s hand tightened around him.

“Let go.”

Tenpou sighed but this time, he felt a certain level of smugness. “Is that all you ever say?”
Konzen clenched his teeth and knowing he was at Tenpou’s mercy, he said nothing more. Tenpou regarded the stubborn clench of Konzen’s jaw and laughed.

“You are a stubborn man, Konzen.”

He got up and walked over to the connected bathroom and returned with a bowl of water and a cloth. Slowly he cleaned Konzen up. Then, his eyes caught the bruises on Konzen’s arms and he frowned.

Seeing that frown made Konzen a touch nervous despite the bravado he tried to keep up.

“What?” he demanded.

Tenpou said nothing and stared at him. There was that look in Tenpou’s eyes once more. A feral, possessive look that made Konzen’s heart hammer once more.

“Tenpou?”

Tenpou silenced him with a kiss. Konzen knew it was hopeless to resist and kissed him back. Their tongues warred for dominance. Tenpou was not about to give up. Realizing he had not achieved what he wanted he slid his hands and cupped Konzen once more.

Konzen broke the kiss with a curse.

“What the hell!? Isn’t it enough?”

Tenpou did not say anything as he expertly stroked Konzen. The blonde squirmed and writhed under him.

“Who do you belong to, Konzen?” Tenpou asked as he leisurely stroked Konzen and returned to tormenting his nipples.

Konzen’s eyes widened and he groaned as Tenpou bit him.

“Konzen?”

“No one.” The blonde stubbornly answered. “I belong to no one but me.”

Tenpou laughed against his nipple and reprimanding, bit it. Konzen moaned at the sharp feeling.

“Wrong answer.”

He continued to stroke Konzen, changing his own tempo again and again, denying the blonde the release he seeks.

“Who do you belong to, Konzen?”

Konzen wondered why Tenpou so stubbornly asked that question. He just could not understand why Tenpou wanted him to admit that. Even Konzen did not know what his answer would be. If he said yes, would it not be just because of sex?

When he was denied release once more, Konzen groaned and snarled before giving up, knowing it was useless.

“I belong to no one, Tenpou.” He forced the words out of his mouth. “But if I had to belong to anyone, I might choose you.”

Tenpou’s heart stilled at those words and realized how selfish it was of him to force his feeling so suddenly on Konzen. Ashamed, he moved down and took Konzen into his mouth. Without any further play, he brought the man to another crest.

Konzen’s head fell heavily on the pillow as he crested once more. He felt so tired but he had no idea what else Tenpou had installed for him. Before he could ask Tenpou once more, the brunette undid his bindings.

Konzen winced as he tried to move his hands down. Instantly, Tenpou’s warm hands were on him, massaging his tense muscles.

“I’m sorry.”

Those words, spoken so softly against his skin, made Konzen’s heart clench tightly with an unfamiliar feeling. He sighed and leaned against Tenpou.

“At least, you are a better kisser than Kenren.”

Shocked and amused, Tenpou laughed before drawing Konzen into his arms.

Yet Konzen turned to give him a warning glare. “Never ever associate me with the monkey sexually, do you understand? It is just so wrong in so many levels!”

Tenpou nodded and apologized solemnly.

“How mad are you?”

Konzen frowned and the sighed once more as he rested his head on the curve of Tenpou’s shoulder.

“Let’s just say…anyone else might have faced a different ending than this one.”

This time, the surprise was obvious. Tenpou hummed and hugged Konzen.

“Will you be mine?”

“Will you be insanely jealous?”

“Yes.”

Konzen pondered about this for awhile and then making up his mind, he pressed his lips against Tenpou’s throat.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Good enough. I’ll take my time convincing you. I’ve got forever.”

Konzen kept quite at that.

“I wonder…about forever.”

Tenpou kissed him once more and cleaned the blonde. Satisfied, he slipped them both under the quilt and watched Konzen as he fell asleep.

Tenpou wondered about forever too, but he knew now that the wondering would be sweet.

Until then, he had some things to deal with.

XXX

Litouten was shocked when his guards fell in front of him, unconscious. Before him was Field Marshal Tenpou, his eyes cold and unforgiving. Before Litouten could say a word, Tenpou had him on the wall, his arm on his windpipe.

“If you ever touch any of my friends, especially Konzen Douji, you will wish you are never alive! Remember that!”

“Damn you!”

Tenpou increased his pressure, making Litouten lose his breathing.

“No, you will be damned if you do not heed my warning.”

With that, he turned and left, not bothering to see the man fall crumpled on the ground. It was really too bad he had to be satisfied with that. If he was given a choice, that man would not have been alive.

XXX

Kenren brought Goku back to Konzen’s quarters. He hoped whatever Tenpou set out to do was done. He did not want to be in Litouten’s place at that moment. As the two of them walked into Konzen’s office, they saw him sitting at his desk, checking the forms.

“Konzen!”

Konzen looked at Goku and fought the urge to smile. He did raise his eyebrow as an acknowledgement.

Kenren watched the blonde. There was something different about him. It was as though…the blonde looked sexier than usual…more relaxed.

Goku’s eyes caught something and he frowned.

“Konzen, what is that big red mark on your arm?” Goku asked innocently.

Konzen and Kenren instantly looked at the mark. Konzen felt his face heat up and hid it with his long bangs. Kenren reached over and touched his arm to examine the mark. A knowing look reached his eyes. Yet before he could do anything, he felt himself being yanked back and a near death grip around his neck.

“Ten-chan!” Goku yelled happily.

“Ten…” Kenren tried to chock the words out, his face turning blue from the lack of air.

Konzen just raised his eyebrow.

“Have you completed your business?”

Tenpou smiled. “Aa.”

“Hmph.”

“Ten…”

“Ten-chan, I think Ken-niichan is suffocating!” Goku said as the said man flung his arms in a worthless attempt to free himself.

“Oh dear me, is that so?” Tenpou said lightly with a smile as he let go of Kenren. The latter fell on the ground as he tried to catch his breath.

“What the hell?!”

“Honestly, Kenren. What did I say about taking what’s not yours? You should be more careful.”

Kenren frowned and then realization hit him hard. He looked at the flushed man behind the desk and the creepily smiling marshal behind him.

Things clicked in place.

‘Oh shit!’

-Fin-

Author's Note:

I hope you enjoyed reading this entry. I enjoy writing about these two especially with Hakkai dominating - wicked laugh - I am also sorry about the grammatical errors you might encounter. Have a nice day!

Been awhile

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 16:28:15 GMT

It has been so long since I have managed to come online like this. With Christmas coming soon, there is a lot of work to be done. Can't wait for the big day, though. Especially since the whole year had been a rough one.

Fic: Secret Desire

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 16:55:38 GMT

Title : Secret Desire
Author : flamingice_28
Pairing: HakkaixSanzo 838
Disclaimer: *Tissue in one hand* I do not own them!
Rating : PG-13 (Since it is not too...explicit =))

Secret Desire

It had been snowing heavily for two straight days. Sanzo stared outside absently as he watched the snowflakes land on the ground. The chilliness outside was a sharp contrast to the warmth of the room. Dressed in a dark turtleneck shirt and his usual tight jeans, he sat at the window sill, his mind oddly blank though outwardly, he looked as though he was deep in thought.

Hakkai sighed as he watched the beautiful monk sitting silently at the window. He had been there for most of the day. In the midst of the evening light with snowflakes dancing in the background, he looked like a forbidden angel, untouchable. That was rather a disturbing thought, Hakkai realised with a sad smile, when he wanted to touch very much.

The journey to India and back had been quite successful. Of course, in the course of returning back to Chang’an, Hakkai had to stop himself numerous times from simply grabbing their unconventional leader and proclaim his undying love for him. When this feeling had started, Hakkai never knew and did not bother to find out. However, he realised he had feelings for Sanzo when Homura started targeting their group and when they broke apart due to Hazel. Not to mention, a certain Dr. Nii that had a fixation on Sanzo. Jealousy, anger and utter helplessness were the feelings Hakkai had gotten used to by the end of their journey. Then, their journey back was filled with one desperation and frustration: sexual.

Now that they were free of their obligation and Sanzo had finally gotten back his master’s scripture, Hakkai wondered if he should just come out clean and tell the uncouth priest his feelings. Then again, he had always been a coward when it came to Sanzo. Simply because he wasn’t sure if he can take rejection and if Sanzo stopped looking at Hakkai as a friend and companion, Hakkai doubted his sanity could take it.

So the safest way, Hakkai thought as he watched Sanzo in his room, was to keep quiet. Though, he couldn’t help but wonder for how long. Life was so short anyway. And Sanzo was also silently tempting him. If only Sanzo had stayed at Chang’an. But the priest couldn’t take living in the temple and had moved into a house with Goku. Being used to the other two ‘idiots’ as he called them, caused him to invite – ahem, demand was more like it – Hakkai and Gojyo to stay as well. The arrangement worked just fine.

Yeah...right.

Hakkai couldn’t stand watching Sanzo prance around the place at times wearing only his jeans. He had bumped numerous times into the priest wearing nothing but a towel tied low carelessly at his hips, his body still damp and droplets of water sliding down his pale skin. It had taken all of Hakkai’s discipline, sanity and rationality not to just grab Sanzo and fuse their lips together; tracing the path the droplets of water took as they slide down Sanzo’s body and kissing each scar that only served to magnify Sanzo’s beauty rather than diminish them. In fact, once, Hakkai had walked in on Sanzo bathing, forgetting that now four people were living in one house and one of them happened to be the man he has been in love with for over four years!

If that wasn’t enough, nearly two weeks ago, Sanzo had spent over an hour watching Hakkai cook in the kitchen. It was something he never did but Hakkai had chalked it up to curiosity. Well, it would be fine if Sanzo was actually dressed decently. Instead, he was only wearing a thin robe that outlined his obviously naked body so perfectly and the dark colour had contrasted very fitting with Sanzo’s skin, it made the man glow. Hakkai thought that by now he would be a saint for not succumbing to his intense desire of just eating up the blonde priest.

Now, it was a whole month since this living arrangement had been made. Hakkai slipped into the kitchen silently. The house was too quiet. Goku had already succumbed into a deep slumber after a hearty meal. Gojyo had managed to escape to one of his ladies before the snow got too heavy. Which meant, for the first time, he was – technically – alone with Sanzo.

The need to do something special kneaded his mind. Taking out one of his favourite recipe books, he glanced through them before a recipe caught his eyes. A recipe for sending out a message to a special someone. Not that Sanzo would even know the name of the drink...

A sly smile graced Hakkai’s lips and he laughed lightly as he took out the ingredients and made a nice warm drink.

It was also a nice way to secretly tell the monk his deepest desire and feelings.

Laughing at the irony of that thought, Hakkai poured the drink into two glasses and mixed in just a hint of sake for Sanzo. He placed the glasses on the tray, took a deep breath and walked up into Sanzo’s room.

Hakkai couldn’t help but wonder if he was masochist. Even as he walked into the room, he knew he was just torturing himself with the blonde’s presence. But it was like moths and fire. You just can’t get enough and would risk getting burnt...

Hakkai had enough mind not to sigh at the sight of the fragile beauty sitting there like a delicately sculptured stature. He knew, personality wise, that Sanzo was far from delicate or fragile but he just couldn’t help associating those words with him. By right, Sanzo should be the weakest member of the ikkou but he was not. He was strong and independent. He hated relying on others, physically and emotionally. That was why it was so hard to approach him. That was also why Hakkai felt an incredible pull towards him. Forbidden fruits are after all, the sweetest.

Wasn’t his love for Kanan a prove of that?

Mentally shaking his head, he cleared his throat and waited for the blonde to turn his attention towards him. Deep violet pools looked into his own emerald ones making Hakkai wonder if he could ever catch his breath.

Sanzo raised a well shaped eyebrow.

Hakkai just smiled.

“I tried out a new recipe. Thought you might want something warm,” Hakkai said as he passed the blonde a glass.

“Hnn.”

Sanzo accepted the glass gratefully, his eyes expressing thanks that the stubborn lips refused to say. Hakkai only smiled and nodded. Together, they sat on the small round table in Sanzo’s room and enjoyed the drink.

It was, Hakkai thought, a really nice drink. The sake only spiked the taste, making it sharper and sweeter. Sanzo did have a slight penchant for sweet things once in a while. As he drank, he glanced at Sanzo and noted with satisfaction that the monk looked just a bit more relaxed than usual.

“It’s quiet.”

Looking up, startled, Hakkai noticed that Sanzo was looking directly at him. He nodded his head. “Aa. Goku is asleep and there is no way Gojyo might return tonight.”

“It’s been awhile since I felt this...peaceful.”

This time, Sanzo’s words did startle Hakkai. Never had Sanzo said anything about his feelings or ideas, thoughts or emotions. So why...?

“I’m glad. Your usual headache had not made an appearance in a while.”

Sanzo snorted. “It will when those morons start back their bickering.”

Hakkai laughed easily at that. “You wanted ‘those morons’ here with you, Sanzo,” he said reminding Sanzo whose choice it was.

Sanzo frowned then, looking thoughtfully outside. “I wonder whatever possessed me to do so.”

Why did it hurt, Hakkai thought as he stared dully into his cup, his good mood vanishing. The fact that Sanzo might regret asking him and Gojyo to stay never did occur. Was this Sanzo’s way of telling them to leave?

Swallowing, Hakkai looked at Sanzo. “Sumimasen. I didn’t know we were bothering you. Maybe...we should leave?”

When Sanzo didn’t immediately answer, Hakkai felt his hope dying out slowly. Just one month? That’s all he really had?

The scrape of the chair made him look up only to find Sanzo looming over him. Shocked, his eyes widened as Sanzo grabbed his chin and tilted his head up so that amethyst eyes could look directly into emerald ones.

“Do you want to leave?”

That question took him by surprise. What was that suppose to mean?

“I...If you want me to...”

“I know what I want. What I want to know is what you want. Do you want to leave?”

Hakkai tried to pry his chin away but the warning in Sanzo’s eyes changed his mind. Instead, he tried to understand what was it that the love of his life wanted.

“I only want what you want, Sanzo. If you want me to leave...”

A smirk graced the blonde’s face and Hakkai wondered what was going on behind those guarded eyes. He also wished Sanzo would let him go before he did something he regretted like attacking those thin cherry like lips.

And then...his mind when blank.

His lips were kissing Sanzo’s or Sanzo was kissing him. Hakkai just couldn’t think. All he could do was feel. Sanzo’s lips chastely kissed his. It was just a light taste, a touch hesitant but otherwise, a feathery feeling against his lips. Sanzo’s tongue lightly trailed Hakkai’s lips before moving to pull away. Hakkai groaned. Before the blonde could pull away, Hakkai grabbed the back of Sanzo’s head and fused their lips together, kissing the blonde deeply. Never in his entire life did he imagine those thin lips to be so soft and warm. Needing to deepen the kiss, his desperation obvious, Hakkai nibbled on Sanzo’s lower lip, causing the blonde to gasp and took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside the warm cavern.

Sanzo tasted of cigarettes, beer and Hakkai’s new speciality. He was a mixture of flavour and Hakkai found himself intoxicated by Sanzo’s taste. This was somehow uniquely Sanzo. A soft moan escaped from the man above him as Hakkai played with his tongue, tasting, teasing.

Without breaking the kiss, Hakkai got up from the chair and pulled Sanzo closer. By now, he just wasn’t thinking anymore. He was quite surprised that the aloof man had even allowed the kiss to get further but Hakkai wasn’t complaining. He would go as far as Sanzo was willing to go. Despite the kiss, Hakkai couldn’t help but wonder if Sanzo had gone all the way before. If Sanzo would let him, Hakkai knew he would grab the chance without a second thought.

Sanzo’s hand grabbed his shirt while another hand tangled in Hakkai’s hair. Hakkai’s hand slipped behind Sanzo, grabbed his ass and pulled him roughly so that their arousals mashed together. Both of them instantly groaned with need.

Up close, Hakkai could smell the fresh scent of soap and Sanzo. He pulled away and drew in a ragged breath.

“Sanzo...?”

The smaller man was panting heavily. His eyes were shut and a light pink hue colored his cheeks. His lips were swollen from being kissed so thoroughly. Hakkai found him absolutely adorable...so different from the cold, untouchable Sanzo he had known.

Sanzo was also trembling.

“If you want to stop...”

Amethyst eyes snapped open and eyed Hakkai hesitantly. The dazed look was gone in an instant replaced with something else. The look was utterly new, so unlike Sanzo’s usual demeanour that Hakkai found himself wondering again what the blonde was thinking.

“Do you want to stop?”

Sanzo calm voice, a contrast to his appearance made Hakkai look at his directly in the eyes. Where was the blonde going with this?

“I will, if you want me to.”

He would never and could never do anything Sanzo didn’t want no matter what.

“I want to know what you want.”

Was it the sheer stubbornness in Sanzo’s voice or was it the magic of the moment, Hakkai did not know but the word formed and was out of his lips before he could stop it.

“You.”

One word, one simple word and Hakkai wondered what would happen now. He was startled by the blonde’s sudden smirk and could only stare at him in confusion before Sanzo’s gaze once more locked with his.

“About time. Frankly, I’m tired of waiting.”

“Wha..?”

But Hakkai could form a word as Sanzo once more attack his lips, this time he made Hakkai forget everything else. Sanzo was hell bent on making sure that Hakkai only thought of him as he heard the brunette moan in pleasure.

XXX

As they lay tangled on the bed in the wee hours of the morning, Hakkai still feeling like all of it was a really superb dream, Sanzo tugged Hakkai’s hair to get his attention.

“Sanzo?”

“Why did you think I wanted you to leave?”

Hakkai found himself captured by the intensity of the violet pools waiting his answer.

“You said you were wondering what possessed you to ask us to stay with you.”

Sanzo frowned and looked at Hakkai.

“I said those morons. It was after all the only way to ask you to...well...you know...stay,” Sanzo said haltingly, hating the fact that he was feeling embarrassed. “Shit! You know what I mean! I couldn’t just say I wanted you! Fucking kappa would have teased the hell out of me!”

Hakkai stared openly at Sanzo. He had never known that Sanzo wanted him as well. His eyes soften and looked just a touch teasingly at Sanzo.

“So...you wanted me?”

Sanzo’s eyes narrowed even as a touch of red claimed his cheeks.

“Che! Like you were not obvious. You kept watching me. Now that trip is over...”

Hakkai nodded understandingly, curling up to Sanzo, a small smile on his lips.

“Hakkai?”

“Hmm?” Hakkai asked voicelessly, marvelling on how much the blonde was actually talking and the gentleness of his tone. He sighed as the hand on his hair played with his brown strands gently.

“I was meaning to ask you this before we...ah...hmm...well...what was the drink you made? It was really nice.” Sanzo asked in a hurry, his face red as he turned to look away.

Hakkai burst into laughter. Sanzo looked at him, annoyed. “What’s so funny? Hey, Hakkai!”

“Sorry, Sanzo,” Hakkai tried apologising despite the lightheaded feeling he was experiencing. “It’s nothing.”

Sanzo frowned and looked at Hakkai indignantly. Hakkai leaned forward, kissing the frown that marred his lover’s face. “Don’t frown so much. It will ruin your wonderful complexion.”

Sanzo growled and pulled away. “I’m not some fucking girl to worry about my complexion!”

Hakkai laughed as his hand reached down between Sanzo’s legs to grab him lightly. Sanzo gasped, his eyes widening instantly.

“Hak...kai...” he gasped, tried for a warning tone and failed miserably as he felt himself hardening once more as Hakkai’s clever fingers worked on him.

Hakkai grinned mischievously as he watched the deep red hue spreading on Sanzo’s face that only enhanced the blonde’s beauty. His fingers worked their magic, lightly stroking Sanzo’s length until the man hardened beneath him.

“I would never mistake you as one,” Hakkai whispered erotically in Sanzo’s ear as he leaned forward to grab another kiss.

XXX

Sanzo wondered why Hakkai needed so many damned recipe books anyway. He really wanted to know the name of the drink Hakkai had made and had been going through nearly 10 books already. Just as he was about to give up and thought of torturing the answer out of the blonde when his eyes caught a book placed hastily back. He took it and flipped the pages, noticing one of it was folded. Curiously, he flipped to that page and stared at the familiar picture of the drink he had been served and stared at the words written.

Bring out the deepest desire of the one you love with...

“Secret Desire.”

Sanzo turned around quickly at the ever familiar voice and saw Hakkai leaning casually at the kitchen doorway, looking extremely amused. Masking his features, Sanzo placed the book back and walked towards Hakkai.

“Never knew you needed a drink to figure out your feelings and mine.”

Hakkai shrugged and kept close eye on Sanzo.

“I always knew mine. It was yours I never knew. I thought the drink seem apt. It was subtle. ”

Not that he had been expecting much, Hakkai thought in amusement as he eyed his lover.

Sanzo threw Hakkai an incredulous glance before shaking his head. He simply walked past the brunette slowly.

“Hakkai.”

“Hai, Sanzo?”

“How could you not know how I felt when I have made it obvious enough?”

“Eh?”

Sanzo smirked as he watched the confusion in the eyes of the dark haired man.

“Since you always seem to know everything, why don’t you stop to think for whose benefit do you think I was parading around with only a towel after my baths?”

At Hakkai’s stunned face, Sanzo’s smirk widened.

“Oh and while you’re at it, the night you walked into my bath was very well planned and timed, don’t you think so?”

Hakkai watched, stupefied as Sanzo walked upstairs without even a backward glance.

-Fin-

Author’s Note:

This story was inspired by a rather cute scene in a cafe. Plus, I decided to add a few elements I noticed from Saiyuki Reload, the episode about the kitten. I liked the way Sanzo stopped walking when the kitten mewed. Then, that smirk. *sigh* Plus a few more added elements and ta-da!

Ok...I'll apologize beforehand for any grammatical errors! Sorry!

Fic: Transcending Love

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 08:11:04 GMT

[Fic]: Transcending Love

Title : Transcending Love
Author : flamingice_28
Pairing : Sanzo x Hakkai / Konzen x Tenpou
Disclaimer : Do I have to keep saying I don't own Saiyuki or any of its characters? It's breaking my heart!
Rating : NC-17 (Since there are some...okay, more than a little adult concepts)

Transcending Love

Long blonde hair was spread wildly on the pillow.

Dazed dark amethyst eyes stared into his.

Slightly chapped pinkish lips were parted, swollen from kisses.

Long, swan-like neck had evidence of love bites.

Slim, slender body was covered with sweat.

The sweet scent emanating from the blonde filled the room.

Loud, clear groans and moans of passion vibrated in the air.

A soft chuckle joined the sinful noises in the room.

Bright emerald orbs practically glowed despite the sunlight filtering into the room.

Strands of brown hair teased the blonde’s inner thighs as warm lips enveloped his cock.

Hakkai’s eyes flew open in horror. In the silence of the room, his harsh panting seemed unusually loud. He groaned softly and slapped a hand over his eyes in an attempt to forget the dream he had been having for the past three nights. If it was only the dream, he could most probably handle it. Unfortunately, Hakkai mused, his body seemed to like the dream a bit too much. His cock was rock solid, begging for attention. Hakkai groaned. He was both aroused and disconcerted over the dream he just had.

The man in the dream looked like him except he had longer hair and his clothes were a tad messy. Or rather, he wasn’t actually wearing any clothes...

It was the other that shocked him.

He had thought that if he were to have sex with someone, it would be Gojyo or maybe another woman. So why in the world was he kept having sex –in his dreams- with a man that looked so much like Sanzo!

Incidentally, the man he had been dreaming about was sleeping just in the next bed, oblivious to the impure dreams Hakkai had been having of him. As Hakkai turned to glance at him, his cock twitched as images of the naked blonde filled Hakkai’s head. Hakkai groaned and turned his back to Sanzo, unwilling to see the monk and more afraid of what will happen if his control slips.

He knew he had to get up and leave to take care of his...little problem but Hakkai just couldn’t summon enough energy to go to the bathroom. Sighing a little and guiltily concentrating on Sanzo’s breathing, he unbuckled his pants and slid his hand inside to grab his cock. He instantly groaned when he touched himself and slowly slid his hand to feel his length fully. He began a steady rhythm to work himself to a quick release. Instead, he realised with shocking embarrassment that he was concentrating on Sanzo and inhaling the monk’s unique scent. With thoughts of Sanzo in his head, he came on his hand. Sighing with relief, Hakkai spared a guilty look at Sanzo but the monk looked dead to the world.

Getting up, Hakkai reached for his towel to clean his hands and slipped back into bed, hoping he would not dream of anything else.

Especially sensual blondes with dangerous guns.

XXX

Hot mouth enveloped his cock, sucking hard on it.

Naughty hand reached over to the blonde’s opening, teasing it gently before slipping a coated finger inside.

Another wondering hand reached up to pinch his right nipple almost painfully before teasing it to reduce the pain and increase his pleasure.

The blonde ached into his lover’s skilful manipulations, crying out in heady pleasure.

His mind was already too lost in the sensations pulsing from his body.

He felt as though every nerve in his body was on fire.

Fingers itched to grab something...anything as an anchor to the overwhelming feelings but he could not grab anything.

His hands, placed above his head, were tied tightly to the bed.

How he had been forced into it was anybody’s guess.

But he knew better.

He knew his lover was insanely jealous and this was his way of punishing him.

The sensations stopped just suddenly as the man above him stood up and moved away to stand at the bed.

His sharp eyes watched the blonde making the blonde acutely aware that he was being watched.

The blonde wanted to protest but not a word passed his lips.

He would not belittle himself by begging.

But his body had already betrayed him.

His body was plastered with sweat.

His nipples were hard.

His cock was rock hard, the tip flowing with pre-come.

His legs were wantonly spread.

As he saw his lover studying him without any emotion in his emerald orbs, he was filled with humiliation and he turned his head away.

He would not beg.

He tried to bring both his legs together to reduce his shame but warm hands stopped him.

Before he could utter a sound, a word, his legs were tied, spread open.

Feeling more like a sacrifice than anything else, amethyst eyes closed to the world.

His eyes might have been closed but his heart was in pain.

This was not love.

This was not what he wanted.

This was wrong.

Sanzo stared into the darkness, feeling unsettled. The dream...or rather, the nightmare was almost too real, as though he had been in the place of the defiant blonde...not to mention he actually looked like the blonde.

And that man!

He had looked so much like Hakkai...only, a bit more colder...meaner...sadistic...

Not that Hakkai was innocent.

Sanzo knew that man could be very manipulative and had tried hard not to get into the other man’s hair. The arrangement had worked so far.

Now this!

He did not know why he had these dre...nightmares, but they were getting on his nerves. He could barely meet Hakkai’s eyes. Somehow, he always remembered the heated emerald orbs that filled his nights and watching guarded, cheerful ones only made him more frustrated.

Why Hakkai?!

Fuck the whole thing!

He never even thought of that man in that way. Hell, even the mere idea of sex had never occurred to him. Having these dreams only awoke feelings Sanzo was uncomfortable and unfamiliar with. It made him edgy and that made him angry and that leads to him feeling very irritated, which leads to two particular members being victims of his harisen and occasionally, his gun.

Nowadays, it was his gun. Mostly.

Sanzo refused to go back to bed. Instead he got up, threw an annoyed glance at the dark haired man sleeping peacefully on the other bed, and walked out to smoke.

There was no point trying to sleep anyway and he did not want to have those dreams anymore for the night.

Especially since a certain body part seemed to be responding.

Maybe, Sanzo mused in silence as he slid down outside and lit his smoke, he should change his sleeping arrangements for a while. He could bunk with Goku once more. Although the monkey irritated him, Sanzo was also the most comfortable with Goku compared to Gojyo.

Problem solved, at least temporarily, Sanzo’s mind wondered once more to the dre...nightmare and wondered how the hell he was supposed to get rid of it. Was he supposed to interpret the dre...nightmare? He really didn’t want to think of it.

This time, the blonde in his nightmare (he refuse to think of the blonde as him) was being punished for something and he wasn’t very happy with it. Sanzo didn’t blame him. He would be cranky too if he was left in the blonde’s position. The idea of that actually happening sent shivers of dread up his spine.

What the hell does this mean? He wondered, dreading the implications of the dream.

What the hell is happening?

XXX

Jiroushin watched as Kanzeon Bosastsu laughed loudly and shook his head. He just wondered why the supposed Goddess of Mercy was doing this. It was just so wrong in so many levels. The first level was actually watching the whole thing happen!

The second being it was not a merciful thing to do.

The third...well, let’s say certain members in heaven would be enraged if they realise Kanzeon was introducing the earthly reincarnations to their heavenly counterparts.

“Kanzeon Bosastsu-sama, don’t you think this is too much? I mean, why in god’s name did you implant those memories into their heads. They do not remember their time as lovers here. Doing this is violating heaven’s laws!”

Kanzeon shrugged and smiled evilly at Juroushin. “Now, since when have I ever cared for laws, Jiroushin? Anyway, I am doing this not only for fun. Those two need each other just like how Konzen needed Tenpou here. I am just doing my duties as my darling nephew’s loving and merciful aunty and helping him out.”

Jiroushin chocked and instantly covered up with a polite cough.

Merciful and loving aunt indeed.

He sighed and rubbed his temples.

This one Bosastsu is truly troublesome.

He felt really sorry for Konzen as he watched Konzen’s reincarnation slowly slid into unguarded sleep outside the inn.

XXX

The familiar presence of the dark haired youkai woke Sanzo from his slumber. He frowned as he noticed he was outside the inn and his body was freezing. He turned his attention to Hakkai, who just stood at his side, a small smile on his lips.

Hakkai reached forward to help him up.

Instantly, the dre...nightmare from the previous night hit him hard and Sanzo jumped to his feet before Hakkai could even touch him. The brunette looked at him quizzically but Sanzo didn’t feel like explaining. He sifted around to get his blood flowing once more and looked everywhere except at Hakkai.

“Fucking cold,” he said to break the awkward silence. Hakkai smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Well, I was wondering why you were sleeping here when you could so easily have slept inside, Sanzo?”

The smile didn’t fool Sanzo for a moment and neither did the patronizing tone Hakkai used to show his displeasure. Sanzo simply ignored it as he usually did.

“Are those two idiots up?”

Hakkai shrugged nonchalantly as he turned behind to walk back in. “Aa. You should get ready for breakfast. A hot bath would do you good.”

Sanzo frowned once more. He knew Hakkai knew he was cold but he also thought Hakkai knew better than to actually comment about it. Apparently, he was wrong. Sanzo disliked people pointing out his weakness or mistakes. Having the man he currently didn’t want around him doing so just annoyed him. Without a word, he shifted and walked past Hakkai to enter the inn.

Just then, Hakkai reached out and grabbed Sanzo’s arm.

Instantly Sanzo stopped and Hakkai froze.

The sharp sensations that flowed through them both made them acutely aware of the other. Sanzo pulled his arm back and Hakkai just let go. Neither said a word, each wondering since when conversations got awkward between them. Each cursed the dreams they have been having. Needing to break the silence, Hakkai latched onto the first thing that came to mind.

“You’re really cold.”

Sanzo did not bother to reply. He just slipped past Hakkai and walked quickly to the bathroom. He wasn’t running, he told himself even as he grabbed his things and locked the bathroom door. Leaning on the door, he steadied himself briefly before turning to warm the bath.

He wasn’t running away from Hakkai.

That was just absurd.

He just needed a bath and breakfast and everything would be alright.

He wasn’t running away.

Convinced, he slipped into the hot water and almost sobbed for the warmth it provided him.

XXX

Emerald orbs watched the blonde behind well-used glasses.

A smirk danced on his lips as his mind was filled with sinful thoughts.

He knew what he wanted and he knew how to get it.

He walked slowly, silently, as though he was stalking his prey.
The blonde was still oblivious to his presence. He was looking outside, his eyes focused on the moon.

The brunette almost sighed at the beauty before him, his eyes tracing each bare alabaster skin the moonlight caressed and felt a tiny bit jealous of the moon.

He mentally laughed at the absurdity of his thoughts and focused once more on the blonde.

Long golden strands clung on the slender man’s figure.

His tight outfit only highlighted his body, which the brunette had wanted to touch and taste in a long time.

The brunette hungrily took in the sight of the shorter man’s bare torso, the satiny looking skin glowing in the moonlight.

He looked so untouchable, the brunette mused. He was just going to have to change that.

He had after all, waited for too long.

He had watched others ogle the oblivious man before him.

He had heard them speak vulgarly about the things they want to do to him.

Sinful things that only he can do. Only he will do.

Oh, yes. He was possessive.

Possessive enough that he wanted to mark his childhood friend before anyone else gets to do so.

Especially his general.

Kenren’s fascination over the blonde was making his blood boil.

If he had to stay and hear Kenren go on and on about the ice prince’s body and how he wanted to make the ice prince scream his name in pleasure, he would crack.

If the blonde was going to scream anyone’s name, it would be his!

“What are you doing, Tenpou?”

He stopped. The smirk just got even wider. He should have known that the blonde would eventually sense his presence.

He had always known when he was near.

He just stood right behind the blonde, acutely aware that they were so close that they both could feel each other’s body warmth.

The blonde shifted uncomfortably.

“Tch. Move away. You’re invading my personal space.”

Even that arrogant, annoyed tone turned him on. How had the blonde enchanted him so?

Furious amethyst eyes turned to regard amused emerald ones.

His breath caught. The blonde was exceptionally beautiful, like a perfectly carved statue. He did live up to the name of being Kanzeon’s nephew.

“I think,” he said carefully and cheerfully, “We should stop playing games, Konzen.”

Konzen frowned. “Games? I don’t remember playing any games with you. You’re not making sense, Tenpou and didn’t I tell you to move?”

Konzen tried to shove Tenpou away but he remained where he was, effectively trapping the blonde.

Konzen began to realise something was wrong with this picture.

“Do you know how it feels to walk around and hear people talking about you, Konzen?” he asked, his voice silky and deceptively sweet. Somehow, Konzen knew he was unhappy about something.

“Since I couldn’t care less about what others say about me, I’m surprised you’d think I’d be interested in knowing what others say,” Konzen answered coolly and tried to move back. He cursed when his back met the wall and Tenpou only shifted closer.

They were so close now that their breaths mingled in the air.

Konzen felt extremely uncomfortable.

“I’m sure we can have this ridiculous conversation with you standing further away. You’re too close, dammit!”

“Worried?”

Konzen stopped at that challenging note in Tenpou’s voice and cursed once more. If he stayed absolutely still, he was sure no part of his body would touch Tenpou’s.

“Do you know how I feel when my subordinates talk about how beautiful a body you have or how sexy and arousing it would be to hear you scream their names in the moment of passion? How they are dreaming to be the ones to melt this ice?”

Konzen ignored the shiver travelling down his spine at the huskiness in Tenpou’s voice and growled.

“I don’t care and I don’t wish to know either. Would you just move? Since when did you become a fucking rock anyway?”

Tenpou grinned in amusement as he reached out to grab Konzen’s hand.

“Do you mean my attitude, my strength or this?” he said as he pressed Konzen’s hand in between his legs to feel the hardness imprisoned in there.

Konzen’s face flushed before totally losing all his colour. Suddenly, he knew what was going on and he wasn’t going to permit it.

He tried to pull his hand away but Tenpou tightened his hold.

“I want you to touch me, Konzen,” he whispered seductively into Konzen’s ear, before nipping the sensitive skin there.

Konzen froze. “Stop this madness, Tenpou. You’re not being yourself!”

“Oh...and who am I really? Do you know how long I’ve dreamed of this? Do you know how long I have wanted and yearned and never had the opportunity to take? This ends tonight, Konzen because tonight, I want to take and no one is going to stop me, not even you,” he said confidently, sucking on Konzen’s earlobe making the untouched blonde whimper with the sudden sensations attacking his system.

Konzen tried to clear his head. He tried to pull his hand away and Tenpou simply let go of it. However no amount of pushing could budge the marshal away. Fear began to settle in.

“Stop this, Tenpou. Wake up, dammit! Like hell I’d fucking let you touch me!”

Tenpou laughed, low, a husky sound that sounded dangerous to Konzen’s ears.

“You will and by the end of it, you’ll beg me to take you again and again, Konzen. I want to make my mark on you, do you understand me? I want you to know you only belong to me,” he said as he licked Konzen’s neck.

The blonde tried to move, tried to say something, anything but he couldn’t. It was like he was placed in a trance by Tenpou’s deep voice.

Tenpou smirked and looked deeply into Konzen’s eyes before he swiftly claimed Konzen’s lips. His hand trailed lazily downwards and caught a nipple, pinching it lightly to draw out the moan from Konzen’s lips. He continued teasing it, knowing from experience that Konzen was very sensitive.

“You’re mine, Konzen Douji!”

Emerald eyes studied the bare ceiling for a long time, trying to clear his head.

That dream had been unexpected.

Hakkai got up and walked over to the window. He had his own room and for once was grateful for the privacy. He never expected the dream to shake him so much but somehow it did.

It wasn’t just lust like it had been before.

It was the possessiveness that frightened him, shocked him.

He knew instinctively that the blonde, Konzen was Sanzo and he was Tenpou.

Besides, Homura had once called them that and this just confirmed his suspicions. But what does it all mean?

Did he want Sanzo...like that?

That was like asking if he liked to cook and the answer would be yes. He wanted Sanzo. He wanted him even more now since the dreams started. He had wanted Sanzo before but never as badly...never this needy.

Was this why he was always restless and angry whenever anyone flirted with Sanzo?

Especially Gojyo.

He never liked it when Gojyo flirted with Sanzo. An odd feeling always took over him.

So...he was possessive over Sanzo.

Interesting.

That actually gave him an insight to his feelings, shading light onto them.

But he knew as well that Sanzo would most probably react the same way Konzen reacted. With denial and rejection.

He was in a mess and he didn’t even know what to do. No matter. This cannot go on. Even as Hakkai watched the cloudy night sky, he knew what he had to do.

Tomorrow, he was going to talk to Sanzo. Some feelings needed to be put forward and discussed. Maybe, that way the dreams would stop.

The dreams might be a sign after all.

Sighing, the brunette watched the streets below, his mind working out every possible conversation he could have with the blonde regarding this topic.

It wasn’t going to be easy.

XXX

The blonde ignored the brunette standing at his door.

His eyes were resolutely fixed on the paper before him although his brain just couldn’t process a single thought.

What was the fucking paper about, anyway?

What the hell? He just stamped it and took a new document and scanned it absently, his senses on high alert.

The brunette shifted his weight and stood beside the blonde.

He watched the sun kissed hair and resisted the temptation to touch the golden silk and inhale its sweet scent.

He had done some damages and he needed to reverse them.

“Let’s talk,” he coaxed the blonde, his tone soft and pleading.

Konzen ignored him.

Memories of that fateful night filled his mind and he just felt like curling up at some corner and disappearing from the world.

He had felt so used that night. So cheap.

He barely stopped himself from trembling.

When had he gotten so weak?

Why couldn’t he just push Tenpou away and be done with it?

Why did all these hurt?

“Konzen...”

“Get out!”

The harsh order made Tenpou flinch but he remained where he was. He knew that the damage he had caused was huge but he wasn’t going to leave until he had settled this matter.

He missed Konzen.

He lifted a hand and caressed Konzen’s soft hair.

Immediately, Konzen pushed his hand away and got up. He took a few steps away from Tenpou and watched the brunette, his eyes wary.

Tenpou didn’t like the way Konzen was watching him. His heart twisted painfully at the knowledge that he put that fear in Konzen.

He knew Konzen feared him even though the blonde probably convinced himself he wasn’t afraid.

He had also hurt Konzen, deliberately at that and regretted his actions dearly.

He had had enough time to calm down and think about everything. It had not been Konzen’s fault but Tenpou had hurt him, punished him for something he didn’t have control over.

It gave him sleepless nights.

He had hoped Konzen would come to him. He had hoped Konzen would have at least come over to yell at him...something...anything...but the blonde had just ignored him. His existence. His presence. Even when he visited Goku, Konzen just looked past him.

One week of this silent treatment was enough.

It was his fault so he would make amends.

It didn’t make him feel better.

“Konzen, please. We can’t go on forever like this.”

Konzen looked at him coldly. “Yes, we can. I don’t want to see you anymore. I want you out of my sight.”

Tenpou shook his head. “That’s impossible. I can’t live without you.”

“Then die. It doesn’t matter to me anyways. You might be able to continue with whatever we had without trust, Tenpou but I can’t. I’m not about to become your toy,” Konzen sneered as he eyed the brunette.

“I never looked at you as my toy. I’m sorry for that night, Konzen. I wasn’t thinking,” Tenpou said softly, pleading for him to listen. Konzen shook his head.

“Get out! I don’t want to hear another load of rubbish from you, marshal. Leave.”

Damn him! But he wasn’t leaving like this.

In a swift move, he pinned Konzen to the wall. The blonde looked at him, shocked.

“So what now? Are you going to tie me up again? Are you going to force yourself on me, tease me and then deny me release and once again walk out on me after you are sated? Forget it, Tenpou! I don’t this anymore. I don’t want you anymore. Get lost!” Konzen yelled as he pushed against the brunette.

Tenpou trapped Konzen’s hands with his own while another hand tilted his chin up. He lowered his lips to kiss the struggling and panicking blonde.

Konzen had expected Tenpou to kiss him roughly. He had been prepared for that. He was unfortunately, unprepared for the gentle kiss Tenpou bestowed upon his lips.

The brunette kissed him softly, lovingly, tasting the icy man with each flicker of his tongue. His hands kept the blonde in place until he was certain Konzen would not push him away. Gently, he traced Konzen’s lips with his tongue, begging for entrance.

It took Konzen a while but he finally gave in. Lust was after all, stronger than anything else. An unwilling captive to his body’s desires, he parted his lips, accepting Tenpou into his mouth. The heat and weight of Tenpou’s tongue on his own aroused him and he moaned into the kiss.

Unlike other times, Tenpou didn’t smirk or smile against him. Instead, the green-eyed marshal pulled Konzen towards him, pressing their bodies close. Konzen was surprised that Tenpou was aroused just by kissing and was equally surprised by his own need.

He sighed.

Looks like they were going to end up in bed after all.

Even then, Konzen realised that Tenpou was different. Instead of simply taking him, like he usually does, he gave more. He made Konzen writhe beneath him, scream his name and made him come by using his hands and mouth. But he himself never came.

Then, Konzen knew.

Tenpou was trying to apologise in the only way he knew how. He was trying to make up for that night. Cursing his heart for feeling touched, he waited until Tenpou slipped into him before switching their positions.

“Konzen...?”

Burning violet eyes caught Tenpou’s green ones in a furious glare.

“Not like this. I told you already. This is not what I want. If it is what you want, go to someone else!”

Tenpou grit his teeth.

“What are you going on about, Konzen?” he asked, desperately trying not to react to Konzen’s tightness and warmth.

The eyes above him softened.

“Together, Tenpou. I hate doing it alone.”

Shocked eyes stared back at him before understanding dawned. With a muffled oath, Tenpou increased his pace, pleasuring both of them till they came together.

Falling heavily on him, Konzen realised with a sudden shock why everything mattered.

Why Tenpou mattered...

He had fallen in love with the marshal.

Sanzo stabbed his last cigarette with a vengeance. He had hoped sleeping alone tonight would quell this ridiculous dreams he was having but they just seems to intensify.

He had been having sex with Hakkai, dammit! His companion! His trusted companion who he had viewed only as a companion!

This damn dreams were changing his views on Hakkai rather fast.

He was hard just thinking about it!

Love?

The blonde was in love with the brunette.

Konzen and Tenpou.

Him and Hakkai.

It doesn’t need a genius to figure that out.

Sanzo sighed.

He never wanted any sort of emotional entanglement. Now he was tied up with three men, all emotionally needy.

Gojyo was someone who doesn’t owe him anything so they were both pretty much free from each other.

Goku was somehow connected to him and try as Sanzo might, he cared for the monkey.

It was his monkey after all and he was possessive over whatever he had.

Hakkai...

Hakkai followed him because he had saved Hakkai’s life three years ago. He had given Hakkai a new life and chanted to bring him peace.

As far as Sanzo was concerned, that was all he did. If he had come to rely on Hakkai, it was because the other two were morons who he cannot imagine were useful except for fighting tools.

These dreams had caused Sanzo to evaluate his feelings for Hakkai. Unfortunately, these feeling were biased as Sanzo kept seeing the overpowering man in his dreams.

He thought that ‘Tenpou’ would make him wary. Unfortunately, he had been greatly turned on. The idea of being able to lean on someone else’s strength, to simply giving up all the power just seemed so seductive. He was so used to holding the burden on his thin shoulders and he was tired of having to lean on himself and having everyone lean on him.

He was so tired.

This journey was taking its toll on him. He didn’t know what to expect anymore. Any moment, anyone of them could die. What will happen then?

He didn’t know and he didn’t want to know.

He thought of warm green eyes.

He thought of chiding words spoken with an understanding tone.

He thought of quiet companionship and a laughing partner.

He thought of Hakkai and hated the fact he couldn’t get his mind off the man.

He wanted to forget.

He didn’t want to yearn.

Too late for that though, he mused.

Problem was, how the hell was he supposed to tell Hakkai he had suddenly developed an impossibly attraction towards him? How would Hakkai feel if he knew these feelings developed from his dreams?

His dreams...

Were his dreams a warning or a sign of some kind? They seemed to be warning him from Hakkai but the Hakkai he knew was not as possessive as Tenpou.

Was he?

Running a hand through his hair in frustration, Sanzo thumped his head on the wall.

Stupid emotional crap.

XXX

Hakkai looked at Sanzo as the blonde sitting down, reading his newspaper, a hand casually drifting to his cup of coffee, sipping elegantly before placing it down and continuing his reading. He had done it effortlessly, used to the routine but to Hakkai, it seemed like seeing something new, something he had missed before.

Had Sanzo always held himself in such a regal manner? Had his hands always curled the cup with such poise? Did his lips always look so soft and inviting? Were his hands as soft as they looked?

So intent was he in studying Sanzo he didn’t notice the knowing gaze Gojyo threw him. The redhead sat back, watching his friend watching Sanzo discreetly and had to stifle the laughter bubbling in his throat. He just watched as Hakkai’s greedy eyes took in the droplet of coffee that escaped the priest’s lips and would have travelled downwards had not a pink tongue flickered out and caught it. Hakkai almost groaned and looked away quickly, staring at his cup intensely.

How deep was his desire for the monk? Gojyo wondered as he drank his beer. How long has he had these kind of fantasies? How the hell did I miss the signs?

Then his mind wondered darkly on how Sanzo would respond to Hakkai’s attraction. It was a well known fact that the monk was not known for his sensitivity and tact when it came to others. The thought that Sanzo might hurt Hakkai crossed Gojyo’s mind and he didn’t like it one bit.

How far gone was Hakkai anyway? Deciding to tease Hakkai a bit, Gojyo focused on Sanzo.

“Hey, Cherry-chan, had a nice night yesterday?” Gojyo started, discreetly keeping an eye on Hakkai. So far, nothing.

Sanzo, on the other hand, tensed. His fingers gripped the paper tightly before relaxing.

Gojyo got up easily, sauntered towards him. He placed his hands lightly on Sanzo’s shoulder, pleased with the sudden tenseness he felt there and the flare in Hakkai’s eyes.

“Want me to warm you up?”

Click. Bang.

“What the hell, you damn monk!? I was just asking you a fucking question!” Gojyo yelled as he ducked from the bullet.

Goku laughed as he watched Sanzo and Gojyo, happy with the fact that Sanzo had his eyes on Gojyo instead of on him. The water sprite deserved it anyway. No one touched Sanzo. It is like an unwritten law.

“Don’t you dare fucking touch me, erokappa! I’ll blow your brains out if you lay a fucking finger on me!” Sanzo growled as his harisen materialised and he hit Gojyo on the head with all his might. Gojyo yelped and moved away, cursing the damn monk.

Even with all the commotion, the monkey kept on eating and Hakkai smiled as he usually did.

However, on closer look, Gojyo noticed that Hakkai’s grip on his cup had tightened considerably and his eyes were cold. He rarely saw Hakkai spotting that look and this just confirmed his suspicions. Hakkai got it deep for the monk.

Cursing whatever fates that landed Hakkai into this mess, Gojyo could only hope that Sanzo would spare Hakkai the heartache. Otherwise, he would have to teach a tight-assed monk some manners.

XXX

Hakkai had never felt...ok, maybe he had felt it once in a while...the seething anger that crushed through him when Gojyo placed his hands on Sanzo. Flirting was bad enough. Actually touching the man was a big ‘no’!

Damn it!

He’s mine!

Hakkai froze at the trail of his thoughts. Since when had he thought of Sanzo as his?

Oh, Kami-sama, he was getting in too deep and he doesn’t even know if Sanzo feels the same way.

Of course, he doesn’t, you idiot. He’s a bloody monk!

Who kills, smokes and drinks...

Really, this whole thing is just too messed up!

He needed to talk to Sanzo.

And by the looks of things, it better be tonight.

XXX

“Quick, Jiroushin! Bring that popcorn! I can sense something happening!”

Jiroushin sighed and hurried to the goddess.

She sat on her throne and watched the lily pond in excitement.

XXX

Blonde hair caressed long brown strands gently. His body sated and tired, rested in Tenpou’s arms. He could feel the warmth surrounding Tenpou and sighed contently.

It was odd how this one man could enrage him one moment and melt him in another.

“You’re not sleeping,” Tenpou’s deep voice drawled out, cutting through Konzen’s thoughts.

“Why?” Konzen asked, voicing out the curiousity he felt since that night. He recognised jealousy. He just didn’t know what triggered it.

Tenpou tensed. He knew what his lover was asking and wondered if he could give him a satisfactory answer. But he also knew he should not lie to Konzen. Their relationship was so fragile that trust depended on it.

He sighed as he pulled away so that he could look into Konzen’s eyes.

“I saw you with Kenren.”

Konzen frowned.

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

Brushing a hand over his face, he looked intently at Konzen.

“I saw him touching you, Konzen. That evening, in the garden. He had his arms around you and I just...snapped,” Tenpou said softly, uncertainty making his voice grow softer.

Eyes widening in realisation, Konzen groaned. “You thought we were doing something?”

“No. I thought he was doing something to you. I don’t like people touching you, Konzen. I’m a very possessive man.”

Konzen grabbed a fistful of Tenpou’s hair and pulled him closer.

“Well, I am a possessive man as well, Tenpou. I’m possessive about myself and I hate people touching me. Besides you and that monkey, I have never let anyone touch me even casually. Whatever gave you the idea...?”

“He likes you...sexually,” Tenpou cut him off, frustrated that Konzen didn’t seem to understand. Konzen’s frown only deepened.

“I know.”

“Wha..?”

“I know. He’s not the only one either.”

Tenpou nodded. “Yeah. He’s not the only one either.”

This time Konzen looked away when he admitted, “You were the first and you’re going to be my last, Tenpou.”

Shocked green eyes turned to stare at the flush on Konzen’s cheeks. A tenderness he never felt caused Tenpou to pull Konzen back into his embrace.

“You need more meat on your bones,” he said teasingly.

“Hn.”

“...”

“Tenpou?”

“Hmm...”

“He was pulling out a paper aeroplane Goku stuck to my back.”

Tenpou blinked.

“Don’t ask me why he had to do it that way instead of taking it out from behind,” Konzen said as he shrugged as though the incident was unimportant.

Tenpou buried his head on the nook of Konzen’s neck.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Just...don’t ever do that again. I hated it.”

Tenpou smiled. Suddenly, a wicked look came into his eyes that instantly alerted Konzen.

“Does that mean you don’t ever want to be tied up? I do have some plans you know.”

“TENPOU!”

Sanzo groaned as the light knocking on the door woke him from his nap.

“What?” he asked crossly as he turned to gain some more sleep.

His dream had been quite...insightful and he wanted to know what else was happening. He was curious, damn it!

“Sanzo, I need to talk to you,” Hakkai’s soft voice floated through the door. Sanzo sighed. No way could he send Hakkai off without the brunette questioning his actions.

“Fine, come in.”

Hakkai’s smiling face was the first thing Sanzo saw. But Sanzo was no dummy. He knew Hakkai was tense from his guarded eyes and the clenching and unclenching of his fingers.

“What?”

Hakkai looked at Sanzo’s tousled hair, his sleepy eyes, slightly parted lips and groaned. Images of a naked Konzen drifted into his mind and he forgot everything he wanted to say. Needing to gather his thoughts and forget about the man still lying on the bed, he walked over to the window.

“I can’t sleep.”

That statement caused Sanzo to raise his eyebrows.

“I’m not a damn healer or physician. What the hell do you want me to do?”

“It is not that I can’t sleep,” Hakkai interjected quickly, chuckling in dry humour. Gods, this was hard! “I just don’t want to sleep.”

Sanzo placed a hand on his throbbing temple.

“You can’t sleep because you don’t want to sleep and yet you’re complaining to me? First of all, make some sense. And second, why the fuck do I need to care?” Sanzo asked crossly as he pulled himself up to a seating position, his legs still stretched before him.

Hakkai spared him a glance and returned to watching the view outside the window.

“For some odd reason or another, you happened to be in my dreams, Sanzo,” Hakkai started and was surprised when he heard Sanzo’s breath catch. He turned and looked at Sanzo.

“I keep dreaming of you but you were not really you and I was not really me...You were Konzen Douji and I was...”

“Tenpou,” Sanzo finished and groaned. “You’ve been having the same dreams?”

Hakkai looked startled and nodded guardedly. “Define dreams?”

“Like hell I will!” Sanzo replied heatedly, a flush on his skin. He looked away from Hakkai, finding the bare spot on the wall across the room oddly fascinating.

Hakkai chuckled. “Well, I need to sleep so I am going to just talk to you about this before I go crazy. I have dream of Konzen and Tenpou having sex, many times. I can only make the connection that there were us in our past lives. Homura seemed to have known us.”

“Where the hell are you going with this, Hakkai?” Sanzo asked uncomfortably. Hakkai smiled.

“I want to know what our dreams are about and try to understand them. They might be clues,” Hakkai said calmly as he walked over to Sanzo.

Good gracious but did Sanzo have any idea how sexy he looked at that moment. It was all Hakkai could do from jumping him but honestly, that didn’t seemed much of a choice now.

He wanted and needed Genjo Sanzo.

“Clues to what? They are just dreams and we do not even look like that!” Sanzo countered and found himself backing just the slightest on the bed as Hakkai walked closer.

“Aa. But there are dreams of us. They might be a sign telling us how good we’d be together,” Hakkai said as he stood directly above Sanzo. The blonde visibly gulped.

Nights full of steamy interludes made both men want. They craved. They needed.

“Hakkai?”

“Do you know the anger I felt when Gojyo touched you, Sanzo? It made me realise I didn’t like anyone touching you.”

Sanzo swallowed a lump on his throat. This was just too similar a conversation.

“I only want you to bear my touch. It’s selfish but I can’t seem to care. You see, I’ve come to the conclusion, that you’re mine. Apparently, you have always been mine since our past lives.”

With that passionate declaration, Hakkai pinned Sanzo to the bed and grinned wickedly.

“Shall we see if we are still compatible, Konzen?”

The protest on Sanzo’s lips died off as Hakkai attacked him.

He didn’t bother fighting too much especially since his body was responding oh so well, traitorous thing.

After all, he was just too willing to be the victim.

Later, he’d tell Hakkai that he belonged to no one.

For now, he’d just enjoy the ride.

XXX

“It’s a good thing everything worked out, right?” Kanzeon said as she watched two sweat slicked bodies sliding off each other.

Jiroushin only slammed a hand over his eyes and groaned softly.

Kanzeon laughed and looked back her nephew.

‘You need him, Konzen. You always have.’

-Fin-

Ok...looks like my work needs more...work. I'll work on that. For now, although I really had no time, I could not resist writing this. =) I am too much of a 383 fan to give up the opportunity to write more. Sigh.

Fic: Enlightenment

Sat, 30 May 2009 17:22:03 GMT

[Fic]: Enlightenment

Title: Enlightenment
Author : flamingice_28
Pairing : Genjo Sanzo x Cho Hakkai
Disclaimer : I really do not own Saiyuki. Oh, the disappointment!
Rating : PG-13

Enlightenment

Warm green healing chi hovered over the priest’s pale form.

It slowly healed his visible wounds, closing them, stopping the frightening amount of blood flowing out of his body.

Claw marks, stab wounds and cuts closed one by one.

Previously white robes were drenched in blood.

Too much of blood…

Hakkai clenched his teeth. Even as he sat back from healing the monk, he still felt a startling amount of fear that Sanzo might not wake up from this one.

Beside him, Goku collapsed on the ground, face pale with both worry and pain as he eyed Sanzo. The mere thought of anything happening to Sanzo frightened him but he remembered Hakkai’s words to be strong. So he harshly forced back the tears that were threatening to form from his eyes and stared at Sanzo, willing him to wake up and start yelling, or hitting or cursing…anything as long as he wakes up.

Gojyo only tightened his grip on his shakujo. He had not expected that at all. For everything the monk was, he never thought the monk would cover for him till that extend. Worse, he expected the monk to simply let him be. Even though Gojyo had not let it on, he was still a touch sore after the whole Hazel episode. And now…it was somehow repeating…repeating with a new twist. They could get Sanzo back then…Could they get him back now?

“We have to get back to the inn,” Hakkai said quietly, his voice hinting at exhaustion. “They would have a better doctor there.”

“Hakkai?” Goku asked the unasked question quietly as he knelt over Sanzo, his fingers ghosting over Sanzo’s blonde locks.

He wanted very much to assure the younger man. He wanted very much to convince himself but he didn’t have the strength and he didn’t have the courage to lie. So he didn’t answer Goku but looked pleadingly into the youngest member of their, imploring him to understand his fear, his uncertainties.

Goku nodded and helped him carry Sanzo carefully and place him in the jeep. Together, they rode back in silence.

A few moments earlier…

“Sanzo…”

Twitch.

“Sanzo…”

Twitch.

“SANZO!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Whack! Whack!

“Ouch! What was that for?”

“Would you just shut the hell up?!” Sanzo growled as he slipped his harisen into his robes and turned to sit back properly.

“But Sanzo….!” Goku whined pathetically. “I’m hungry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Sanzo twitched and hmpped. He resolutely ignored the monkey hoping that that will shut him up.

No such luck.

He should have known.

“Sanzo, I’m hungry! I’m dying of starvation!!!!!!!!!!!” Goku wailed much to Hakkai’s amusement and Gojyo’s annoyance.

“Ooi! Shut up, you stupid monkey! You won’t die of starvation. You can’t last without food for a few more days!”

“You shut up! And don’t call me a monkey, you erokappa!”

“What did you call me, you chimp?”

Twitch.

“Who are you calling a chimp, you dumb water sprite?”

Twitch.

“Who are you calling dumb, you stomach thinking monkey?”

Twitch. Twitch. Nerve popping.

“Who are you calling a monkey, you pervert?”

Twitch. Twitch.

“Yare. Yare.”

“Huh! I’m calling you a monkey and I am a pervert. You lose,” Gojyo laughed as he sprawled in the backseat, kicking Goku in the gut. Goku yelped and kicked Gojyo causing a ruckus at the backseat as Sanzo tried – as much as possible – to reign his anger and failed. Whipping out his gun, he fired five successive rounds to the back without even turning his head, nearly hitting his two intended victims.

“SHUT UP!”

“You freaking monk, watch where you’re pointing that darn thing!” Gojyo yelled as he avoided the stream of bullets whizzing past him.

“Sanzo! No fair!”

“I said SHUT UP or do you want another bullet in your empty skulls!”

The silence at the back was instant.

Gojyo and Goku settled down, pouting and sulking as they glared at each other. Hakkai smiled his usual sunny smile and watched Sanzo settle down beside him.

The last rays of the sun caught on the priest’s hair making it shine like forbidden gold. Hakkai tried hard not to stare and wished suddenly that Gojyo and Goku would make some sort of noise to distract him.

Or distract Sanzo so he could go back to staring at him without being caught.

It took Hakkai some time but he realised something rather troubling when the unfortunate incident with Hazel happened.

He was in love with a certain blonde monk.

He didn’t know when it really started or for how long he had been in love with Sanzo. He didn’t know what triggered it or whether he was even happy with how things turned out. But Hakkai knew one thing: Sanzo would kill him if he found out.

Unlike the others, he had not expected the way Sanzo left them or the way they left him to affect him in any way. Sure, he had been really angry and all but beneath all that…he couldn’t function. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t feel. His mind kept going back to Sanzo. His heart kept screaming at him to go back to the monk, to drag him back. His head too was being a bit irrational. It was very irritating. It was also very enlightening.

As he drove, the light squabbles from behind starting once more and the monk beside him twitching again, Hakkai wished the trip would never end so he could savour these moments until he was drunk with them.

Ahead he saw the happenings of a town and glad for a warm bed and bath, he started to step on the accelerator when a bunch of unwanted visitors dropped by. Hakkai sighed. Sanzo frowned. Goku glowed. Gojyo grumbled.

“I suppose we should finish this fast if we want a warm bed and bath?” Hakkai said with a deceiving smile, his hand petting Hakuryu that instantly transformed once they have all got out.

“Can we get food?” Goku asked excitedly.

Hakkai smiled. “Hai, Goku. We can get food.”

“Yosh! Then, let’s finish this up!”

They didn’t bother listening to the same old lines. Sanzo – sutra – death.

Predictable.

The fight however was more intense. The demons had managed to separate the ikkou to four groups, each fighting for themselves. No matter how hard the ikkou fought, they kept on coming. Even as Hakkai threw another chi blast, his eyes caught the red stains on Sanzo’s robe and growled. Ever since he realised his feelings, he had a hard time keeping away from Sanzo mainly from battles and hated it when the blonde got hurt. The uncouth priest was definitely still human and his healing rates were different from that of a youkai.

Concentrating on his fight and angling to reach Sanzo, Hakkai turned back to his fight, throwing another blast of chi to the demons circling him from behind.

Goku was having too much fun beating up the possessed demons to worry about anything else. The cuts he received were barely worth his attention as he focused his energy on getting out alive.
Gojyo was doing the same.

Sanzo, on the other hand, was struggling. His wounds from his battle with Hazel had still not healed well. He had lost a lot of blood then and had not recovered a 100 percent. The speed of his shots has slowed and his aim was a bit unsteady. The number of youkai around him had increased tremendously. Gritting his teeth, he tried to buy himself sometime to chant his sutra but couldn’t find any gap. Sanzo growled and decided to try something new. One hand on his gun, the other poised to chant, he chanted the words he knew in his sleep, trying hard to concentrate. Still, it was no use. The distractions were too many. By now, he was soaked in his own blood, new wounds mingling with old ones making it harder for him to concentrate.
Just as he cleared half of the demons in his path, Hakkai joined him and Sanzo felt instantly relieved. He did not know how long he could last and definitely needed all the help he could get. From afar, he saw as the leader of this band of youkai snarl menacingly and join his followers.

“We need to stick together,” Sanzo yelled at Hakkai, who nodded understandingly. His emerald orbs glanced worriedly at Sanzo but the blonde monk ignored him. This was not a time for weakness.

They made their way towards Gojyo, who was nearer to them. As they got nearer, Sanzo noticed the leader advancing on the distracted kappa. He yelled at Gojyo, trying to get his attention.
Gojyo turned towards Sanzo and then everything happened too fast. Just as he was about to yell at the monk for distracting him, he saw – in slow motion – long claws dashing towards him and then a flash of white. Sharp claws penetrated through Sanzo’s body. Before him, the leader vanished like the others as Sanzo’s bullet pass through his skull. The claws disappeared and the monk fell on the ground.

Horrified, Goku screamed as he slashed through the remaining demons and rushed towards Sanzo. Red eyes widened and rushed towards the monk as he blindly beat up the rest. Terrified green eyes blasted a huge chi that cleared the remaining demons and ran to Sanzo.

There was so much blood. White robes had turned into startling red making Gojyo cringe at the sight and the meaning of it. Sanzo had taken a hit meant for him. He had not expected that at all.

Back to the present...

It has been about 9 days but the still body beneath the sheets did not give any indication of waking up. Twice, Hakkai had nearly lost Sanzo and the doctor in the village helped him stabilize the blonde. Twice, Hakkai found himself praying like he never prayed before for the gods to have mercy on him.

He just could not bear the idea of losing Sanzo before he could ever make his feelings clear whether the monk liked it or not. Losing Kanan had nearly killed him once but losing Sanzo was something he realised would destroy him in a heartbeat. There are after all worse things than death.

Goku had sat at the corner of the room just across Sanzo, watching the pale man’s breathing closely as if he willed Sanzo to keep on breathing. Nothing Hakkai or Gojyo said could move him away. He barely ate and slept with his head resting on the bed close to Sanzo.

Gojyo also didn’t leave the inn. He might have fought all the time with Sanzo but he did care for the stubborn monk. The whole Hazel incident proved it beyond any doubt.

What was it that made this attack different? He wondered as he blew out a trail of smoke, watching the moon from the balcony. Why was this attack so different? It was too soon after the incident with Hazel. Sanzo might have acted tough but he knew that the priest was troubled and wounded. Hakkai might have been able to close his wounds but even then, Sanzo’s healing rate was different.

Gojyo sighed and smiled humourously. How had one prissy monk managed to affect them all so much?
More importantly, how was Hakkai going to face this? He was not dumb. He knew his friend close enough to realise that Hakkai was in love with Sanzo. It came as a shock to him at first and then he realised that the feelings were there all along. It was just that Hakkai had been too slow to recognise it or just didn’t act on it.

What about now? What about after this incident?

Red eyes shut itself from the moon as Gojyo leaned back on the wall, cigarette dangling from him lips. This situation really sucked.

XXX

Blood...

So much blood...

A body lying in a pool of blood...

A child covered with blood...

Empty eyes looking up in hopelessness and helplessness...

Master...

Kouryuu...

Violet eyes snapped open but the figure didn’t move. His harsh breathing returned to normal and he took in deep breaths to steady himself and pull away from the effects of the nightmare. Silence filled the air and he kept still, feeling his surrounding and nearly sighed with relieve to find no one around him.
Unsteady hand reached up to brush his bangs away from his eyes.

‘What happened...?’ Sanzo thought, his memory disorganized, making him feel out of it for a moment until he remembered the attack and the demon.

‘Stupid kappa! Never could look after himself...Why did I do that?’ Sanzo wondered as he stared unblinking at the ceiling. He lowered his hand with slight difficulty, the loss of blood making him dizzy.

Master...

‘Can’t believe I’d rather die than see him dead. Must have gotten too bloody attached to these idiots...Che!’

He was tired once more and he closed his eyes, resigned that he could barely move. Violets eyes were curtained again just as the door opened to reveal a pair of tired emerald orbs.
Hakkai looked at the unmoving figure, a hint of frustration lurking in his head. He sat back beside Sanzo and saw the pale man sweating slightly. He took the cloth he left beside the basin and used it wipe Sanzo dry. Just then, Goku and Gojyo entered, watching the monk, an instant look of dejection on both their faces.

“He’s still not up, Hakkai?” Goku asked as he sat on the edge of the bed, his hand curled around Sanzo’s, keeping a firm grip on the weaker hand. Hakkai shook his head and sighed. He looked at the tired and frightened golden orbs and gave him his best reassuring smile.

“He’s out of the worst of it, Goku. He should be back soon.”

“Tsk. Damn monk better get his prissy ask back real soon. I’m getting tired of all this moping around already!” Gojyo said off-handedly, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere.

“Don’t talk like that!” Goku cried out in dismay. “He got into this because of you after all!”

“I didn’t ask him to. He shoulda just mind he’s own freaking business. Fucking monk and his busybody attitude,” Gojyo shot back as he clenched that sickening feeling that he was the reason for all this mess. But damn it! It wasn’t his fault, was it?

“Now, now. We shouldn’t make much noise. Sanzo needs to rest,” Hakkai interfered instantly, a warning look in his eyes that was meant to keep them both quiet.

“Che, like I can get any in this damn noisy room!”

Instant silence.

Three pairs of eyes turned go the bed where a certain blonde priest had opened his eyes, staring at them. For awhile no one said a word. They couldn’t. All the waiting, the fear, the tension just suddenly seem to slip away as though it was never there in the first place. Sanzo was the first one to break the spell.

“Damn it! I need a fucking smoke!”

“Sanzo!”

Tears that had long been kept in check flowed freely as Goku threw himself at the shocked monk, his arms wrapped around the thinner figure possessively. Sanzo clenched his jaw against the sudden attack and pain he felt but he didn’t push Goku away. Not that he could. Instead, he allowed the younger boy to cry on his shoulder. Despite the energy it needed to life his arm, Sanzo placed it Goku’s head, fingers gently caressing the trembling boy.

“What the hell are you doing, Goku?” he asked harshly, more towards the fact he couldn’t really breathe than anything else.

Goku shook his head, his utter relieve that Sanzo was fine made him unable to say a word. He only cried on Sanzo’s shoulder, holding him tightly, his senses hearing the heartbeat he relied on for his sanity.

Across them, Hakkai and Gojyo only watched the affectionate display that Sanzo had especially for Goku. Although he never verbalized his care for Goku, Sanzo showed it in small ways. That, Hakkai thought with a happy sigh, was another reason he was in love with this untouchable monk.

“Well,” Gojyo drawled out, catching Sanzo’s eyes. “Finally awake, sleeping beauty. I thought I needed to give you a kiss from the charming prince to get rid of the spell.”

“Che, you come anywhere near me and you’ll get a bullet in that empty skull of yours, erokappa!”
Gojyo laughed easily, the sound of it sounded foreign even to his own ears. He watched the monk and grinned. It was good to be back in synch.

“Next time, take care of your own ass. I know how to take care of mine. Or maybe you want me to care of yours?” Gojyo said with a wriggle of his eyebrows. Sanzo glared.

“This will teach me lesson to actually bother about you. Che, next time you are too careless to watch your ass, I’ll just stay away and watch. They would be doing us all a favour anyway.”

“Bloody monk!”

“Perverted cockroach!”

“Yeah and proud of it!”

“Che, I knew you were proud to be a cockroach. Don’t have to fucking tell me that,” Sanzo said with a smirk.

“What the hell did you say?!”

“Maa, maa, isn’t this just lively. We’re all really happy you came back from the dead, Sanzo.
It’s nice for you to complete your visit so soon.”

Sanzo glared at the smiling brunette and focused on the now composed monkey wrapped around him.

“Ooi, Goku,” Sanzo said quietly.

Goku looked up expectantly, his eyes shining with the aftermath of tears.

“Get off of me!”

“But Sanzo...!” Goku muttered feeling hurt that Sanzo wanted to get rid of him already.

Ignoring that look, Sanzo glared at him. “I can’t breathe, you stupid monkey!”

Understanding dawned and the monkey got off him quickly. He grinned sheepishly and then laughed
in delight.

“I’m glad you’re alright, Sanzo! We waited for so long for you to wake up!”

Confusion spread in those eyes as it finally landed on Hakkai, making the healer a bit weak in the knees.

“How long was I out?”

Hakkai put on his fake smile, hiding the helplessness he had felt. “To date, 9 days.”

Shock made violet eyes widen before settling back to their normal passiveness. “Che, wasted too much time.”

Hakkai wondered as Sanzo closed his eyes to sleep, if the blonde even knew a fraction of what had he or the others felt during the 18 days. Even as he approached to change the cloth, he thought Sanzo wasn’t taking this like he should be. Leaning closer to place the fresh cloth on Sanzo’s forehead, he was startled when fingers gripped his sleeve loosely.

“Sanzo,” he whispered softly.

“Thank you,” came the extremely quiet reply that made Hakkai gasp.

Of all the things he had expected, that was not it.

A smile donned his face and he turned and went to prepare breakfast.

In the blessed silence, Sanzo opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling with conflicting emotions of fear and confusion.

He wondered if the memories in his head were false or some sick joke.

He wondered if he just imagined Hakkai kissing his eyes and cheeks.

He wondered if he only imagined Hakkai’s tears on his skin.

He wondered if he merely thought that Hakkai had told him over and over again that he loved him.

He wondered because he knew he would never get the nerve or courage to ask as he did not know
which answer would please him more.

The fact that Hakkai never did that or the fact that Hakkai definitely did that.

XXX

It was exactly three days later that Hakkai snapped. He had not expected to. He had seriously thought he had everything under control. His desire for Sanzo was something he had made sure no one else realised. And somehow, ironically, it was the monk that made him snap.

Sanzo was just simply being stubborn once more. He refused to eat much, claiming his appetite was pretty much non-existent. He demanded that Hakkai pack everything up and get ready to leave.

Yeah, right Hakkai was going to do that.

The blonde was going to learn a lesson and it was called ‘taking care of your health’. It was, Hakkai thought much later, rather regrettable that Goku and Gojyo had not been around because they would have been able to stop him when he couldn’t stop himself.

Hakkai had gone in as usual to check on their grumpy leader only to find the plate of food barely touched and Sanzo sitting on the window sill, smoking.

Smoking of all things!

“Sanzo, you barely touched your dinner,” Hakkai said, a painfully fake smile on his face as he looked at the man he had fallen for.

The last rays of the sun danced on Sanzo’s features making him glow like an angel. Hakkai only realised he wasn’t breathing when his lungs cried out for air. Taking in a deep breath, he focused on getting Sanzo to eat.

“Hn. Not hungry.”

Hakkai fisted his hands angrily. Didn’t the blonde know that he was worrying everyone with his attitude? Didn’t he know that he was only punishing his body when the vessel needed so much of rest? Their journey was getting harder not easier and this new turn of events just showed how much harder it could get.

“Sanzo, you have got to eat! Your body needs rest and for the love of everything good, would you just stop smoking!” Hakkai barely yelled but the frustration in his voice and the seriousness of his tone got Sanzo’s attention.

“Beat it, Hakkai. Leave me alone. I’m fine already. We will leave tomorrow,” Sanzo said off-handedly but with a tone so final that meant he was not taking ‘no’ for an answer.

Unfortunately, Sanzo just didn’t realise how wrong he was.

Hakkai stood silently, his mind suddenly blank from all rational thoughts. Instead, in his head he saw Sanzo trying hard to remain standing as Hazel kept shooting at him. He saw Sanzo trying to keep his concentration when battling with the group of youkai. He saw Sanzo shielding Gojyo’s body. He saw blood. He saw how close to death Sanzo was.

And now...

He saw an extremely stubborn blonde monk who just needs to be shown how idiotic he was.

“So...you think you are strong enough to travel, do you?”

Something in Hakkai’s voice, a dark edge to it that Sanzo had never heard made him look at the healer, questions in his eyes. Hakkai’s hard emerald orbs rose to capture careless amethyst eyes, which suddenly turned alert.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Hakkai? I’m fine already. We’ve lost enough time. We need to get back on the road,” Sanzo said, finality in his tone as he looked away, dismissing Hakkai with the careless tilt of his head. A tilt, the darker side of the healer thought, that exposed his long slender neck.

A growl was all the warning Sanzo got as Hakkai snatched his wrist and threw the blonde on the bed. A wave of dizziness passed through Sanzo before his head cleared but by then, he was pinned on the bed by the taller man. Sanzo’s eyes widen just the slightest before narrowing in anger.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, you bastard? Let go of me, right now!” Sanzo demanded, trying to tug his wrists from the youkai’s stronger hands.

Hakkai didn’t say a word, merely looked at Sanzo with a blank face.

“Didn’t you say you are capable of travelling? That would mean you are capable of handling more crazy demons coming for your life. So I’m sure you are more than capable of getting me off you or at least...getting your gun?”

Sanzo narrowed his eyes and tried twisting his way out of Hakkai’s firm grip. Even now, Sanzo noticed in some corner of his mind that Hakkai’s grip was just firm and not painful. However, the blonde also realised that all his twisting was no use. His body was still too weak from the lack of blood and nutrition. Glaring at the brunette, he growled.

“If I reach that gun, you’re a dead man, Cho Hakkai!”

“Then,” Hakkai said with a smile than Sanzo could only categorise as sinister, “I better make sure you don’t reach it, right?”

He easily pinned Sanzo’s trashing feet with his own and leaned closer towards the blonde, his sense of smell spiked with the unique smell of Sanzo. He leaned even closer, burying his head at Sanzo’s neck. This caused a large amount of warning bells to go of simultaneously in Sanzo’s head.

“Hakkai!” Sanzo grittered out warningly, “Don’t you dare!”

What was it with challenges that just made you scream to answer them, Hakkai wondered as his mind just shut down from all rational thoughts. He had only wanted to show Sanzo how helpless the man really was but instead he found himself painfully aroused as the object of his desire twisted and turned beneath him. The beauty of the man below him added with the constant contact of both their bodies made him ache with need, with desire.

Throwing all caution to the wind, Hakkai groaned as he leaned in and caught Sanzo’s lips in a searing kiss. The monk went still beneath him, his eyes wide and Hakkai was surprised to catch just a touch of fear in them. He desperately ignored it for a while, instead, and focused on kissing Sanzo.

Sanzo’s lips were surprisingly soft for a man who only knew how to curse day in and day out. His lips were warm and soft and unexpectedly sweet despite the taste of cigarettes. Hakkai found he liked the taste of cigarettes on Sanzo’s lips. Even then, his brain just stopped functioning. Hakkai just...took. He could feel the blonde trembling beneath him and pressed closer, his arousal obvious to the both of them. Hakkai nipped sharply on Sanzo’s lips making the monk gasp at the sudden pain and slipped his tongue inside to taste the forbidden fruit.

Despite the fact that part of him enjoyed Hakkai’s kiss, a major part of Sanzo was just plain terrified. His mind raced back to his childhood when he had first ventured out from the temple after Koumyou Sanzo’s death. Back then, he was pinned too. Back then, he felt fear so great he finally worked to get rid of it.

It was happening again. Only, he had not expected that Hakkai would be so bold. Whatever he was feeling, fear was the strongest. And fear was one of the feelings that Sanzo hated with passion. He struggled once more against Hakkai and finally pulled away from the healer.

Just as Hakkai buried his head on Sanzo’s neck again, Sanzo decided pride was not as important as getting out of this mess. Even now, he knew that he was going to be plagued with nightmares as the incident stirred up bad memories.

“Hakkai! Don’t...please,” Sanzo gasped out, pleading almost too softly to be heard and cursing himself for being too weak to protect himself.

Hakkai’s body stilled above him. And just like that, sense snapped back into Hakkai. As though being near Sanzo burned him, he jumped away, his eyes wide and back to their normalcy. Guilty green eyes took in the appearance of their leader and wondered how the hell he had gotten so out of hand. He was only supposed to pin Sanzo to the bed...and that’s it. Now he sat back and he took in the trembling form of the blonde man before him.

Suddenly, Sanzo seemed so much smaller and so much more fragile than Hakkai remembered.

“Sanzo...”

“Get out.”

The order lacked its usual forcefulness. Just a moment, Hakkai thought he glimpsed a touch of fear in those amethyst pools he loved so much. Getting up, he walked towards the door knowing very well, he had to leave.

His hand paused on the knob.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. It won’t happen again.”

“Just...get out.”

Hakkai walked out without another word and closed the door silently behind him. He disappeared into his room and locked his door before sliding down, leaning on the door.

What the hell did he just do? Why did he do it? How could he face Sanzo now?

Oh gods, he would have raped Sanzo if the note of fear in Sanzo’s voice didn’t register in his brains!

How different would that make him from the monsters that took Kanan?

These bloodied hands...nearly caused him to hurt the one person he loved after Kanan.

Covering his face with his hands, he felt the first wave of tears come over him and he cried.

XXX

It took Hakkai nearly 3 more days before he got the courage to face Sanzo once more. Gojyo had sensed something wrong but he couldn’t get Hakkai to spill it. Hakkai stubbornly refused to say a word but kept thinking of how he was going to solve this little...misunderstanding between him and Sanzo.

Yeah, right.

Little misunderstanding. What a joke!

If Sanzo even let him anyway near him, it would be considered a miracle.

More importantly, Hakkai thought as he gave the door a sharp knock, he felt guilty for the fear he saw behind Sanzo’s eyes and heard in his voice. Sanzo never begged and since he did, Hakkai must have crossed some serious borders that night.

For a moment, there was no sound at all. Then the door swung open. Sanzo stood at the door, his eyes oddly blank as he looked at Hakkai.

“What do you want?” he asked, his voice cold, clipped and detached. Hakkai didn’t like the sound of it at all.

“I...we need to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk with you. You wanted me to rest, I’m resting. Get lost,” Sanzo said coldly as he tried to shut the door but Hakkai was faster. He caught the door and held it, looking directly at Sanzo.

“Please...”

Sanzo stared at those green pools that were begging him for a chance and harshly fought off the nausea that threaten to burst free. He had thrown up after Hakkai left – not because of the healer but because of the ghosts of his past. Ghosts that he thought he had buried. For three nights he had been unable to close his eyes, the memories of that night flashing back with clarity. Even as he moved aside to let Hakkai walk in, he realised that that night was a disaster as he was consumed by the feeling of helplessness under a man. And the fact that he was just slightly turned on by the whole thing just alarmed him.

“If you do anything, I’ll shoot you,” he warned the youkai and deliberately left the door unlocked, something Hakkai took notice of but didn’t say a word although it stung. He tried to focus instead on apologising and realised that he didn’t know where and how to begin.

Sanzo watched Hakkai fidget in his seat and decided to get it over with. “I know what you are going to do, so I will save you your effort, my time and yours. You are just going to beg for forgiveness, claiming you didn’t know what the hell had gotten into you, lost your perspective, blah blah blah. I’m going to say ‘I don’t bloody care. Like hell I’ll forgive you and get out right this instance before I put in holes in your head.’ I think that about covers it up.”

Hakkai couldn’t believe he burst out laughing at that. He knew Sanzo didn’t mean it to be funny. It was just...well, Sanzo kind of got it straight on. He didn’t know he was so predictable, but then he wasn’t predictable that night, was he?

“What the fuck are you laughing about?” Sanzo demanded, his eyes blazing with anger. Somehow, Hakkai preferred that than the cold fury and that sent him off again in fits of laughter.

“You damn bastard!” Sanzo hissed. “You thought it was funny?”

This time, Hakkai stopped laughing. One, because what happened that night wasn’t funny. Two...well, a gun aimed at anyone’s head is really nothing to be laughing about.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t laughing at you. I was just laughing about the situation in general...not about me forcing myself on you...that wasn’t funny. It’s just that you know me so well but you still didn’t expect me to do that,” Hakkai explained, keeping his eyes on Sanzo. “I prefer this heat than your cold, Sanzo. It is much less terrifying.”

The blonde lowered the gun, mostly because it was taking too much energy, and watched the brunette.

Hakkai sighed. “There is one thing about all of this that you missed so I better just tell you. I’m in love with you.”

Clang.

Hakkai looked at the gun that lay on the floor and then, he turned his gaze towards the shock monk standing opposite him, a petrified look on his face. Instead of feeling amused at the not-so-Sanzo-like look, Hakkai felt his heart crack at the first stirrings of disappointment.

So Sanzo didn’t feel the same way.

He should have known. He should not have placed his hopes on the monk but damn it! He loved him. He was obsessed and extremely possessive over Sanzo.

So, it wasn’t a dream after all! Sanzo thought as he tried to grab his scattered brains. He leaned down with a curse and picked up his gun before settling down on the bed.

“So was that how you show your love?” Sanzo asked, a tad sarcastically as he watched Hakkai.

The youkai shook his head. “No. I’m sorry about that. I only wanted to restrain you...show you that you are too stubborn for your own good...No. Again, I’m lying. I needed some sort of contact with you, Sanzo. I kept seeing you, covered in blood and I needed to touch you...to know you were alive. I’m sorry. Things got out of hand. I suppose things would get out of hand when you are lying on the person you love. I really couldn’t control myself. I won’t lie to you, Sanzo. I wanted you that night. I wanted you...but not like that. I would prefer it if you were willing. Like I said, that night was a mistake.”

He looked down, his memory travelling to his last day as a human. He hadn’t been able to touch her. That had been his deepest regret. He could not reach out and touch her. So he touched Sanzo because he didn’t want that mistake repeated.

“You’re one messed up demon, Hakkai.” The quietness in Sanzo’s voice made Hakkai look up and he smiled brightly, a smile so fake Sanzo’s eyes hurt from looking at it.

“What the hell are you expecting me to say? Do you want me to say that I feel the same way?” Sanzo asked furiously, masking his confusion and fear with anger.

Hakkai just smiled. “That would be nice but I think I kind of guessed that you wouldn’t be able to return my feelings. Unrequited love is a sweet pain by itself.”

“Damn you! You should have just kept all this sentimental crap to yourself until the mission was over and even after that. Shit! What the hell are we suppose to do?” Sanzo bit out more concerned about what he was supposed to do now.

Emerald orbs looked at him gently. “I was afraid it would be too late. We live like every day is our last. I didn’t you or I to die without you knowing how I felt. This wasn’t how I envisioned confessing though,” Hakkai said, a touch of light humour laced to lighten the mood.

Sanzo shook his head. The man before him was truly an idiot. But then again, so was he. He, of all people, should know how close to death they lived. One day, they were here. The next day, who knows?

He had been thinking hard for these three peaceful days and came up to one answer. He liked Hakkai. He didn’t know if he loved the man but he liked him. Liked him enough that Hakkai was still sitting there, breathing instead of filled with holes. Others might not have been so lucky.

Hakkai got up, thinking of leaving when he saw Sanzo’s eyes staring at him. He wanted to say something, anything and realised he was close to begging Sanzo to giving him a chance...giving them a chance. But he bit his tongue and pursed his lips.

“I should go...I’m really sorry for everything, Sanzo.”

He wasn’t going to cry. At least not until he was in the safety of his room. He wasn’t going to do anything that would embarrass him and make Sanzo guilty.

He wasn’t.

“Hakkai...”

He stopped, his shattered heart trying hard not to hope as the voice of the man he loved sounded gentle, soft.

Sanzo stared at Hakkai, uncertain about what he should say and what he needed to say. But he knew, that among the three, Hakkai was the one he was the most relaxed with and the only one he could actually stand. Minus the latest incident, he really didn’t have any reason to hate the man.

“You startled me that night.”

Hakkai sucked in a deep breath. He turned and looked at Sanzo, noting that the amethyst eyes were no longer focused on him but on the window.

“Sanzo...?”

“Shut up and listen. I will only say this once,” Sanzo said furiously as he ran his fingers through his hair in desperation. Does he need to do this?

Yes. The answer was as simple as that.

The question why is more complex.

But the result was the same.

He liked Hakkai and he wanted Hakkai. He had always felt that way. Just how far deep his want ran, was something Sanzo didn’t know. It wasn’t physical, his need for Hakkai. It was more emotional and psychological. At least Hakkai needed to know that.

“You startled me. I don’t like feeling helpless, Hakkai and you made me feel helpless that night.”

Hakkai nodded but he knew Sanzo was planning to talk so he didn’t say he say the fear in Sanzo’s eyes. He wanted to know why Sanzo had been afraid, besides the fact he was pinned down. There was something deeper that caused that fear and Hakkai wanted to know what it was.

Sanzo found himself battling the need to just bottle it all up. It was easier to keep quiet but times like this made him feel irritated that he was not used to speaking his mind, leaving himself vulnerable.

“When I was thirteen, I was pinned down by some men and would have been raped by them,” Sanzo said quietly, quickly even as he shuddered at the memory. “That was why I reacted so...as such that night.”

Hakkai’s face paled as he realised the monsters of Sanzo’s past he had unleashed without meaning to. Reaching out, he placed a cautious hand on Sanzo’s shoulder, his heart twisting in pain when Sanzo flinched. But Sanzo held himself still, allowing Hakkai’s hand on his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry I opened up all wounds, Sanzo. I never meant to.”

Sanzo shrugged. Needing a cigarette, he moved away and picked up his packet. Lighting one, he sat again at the window and looked out. The second part, he realised was trickier.

“I...about your...confession, I...”

Hakkai shook his head. “It’s okay, Sanzo. You don’t have to feel obliged to return my feelings.”

Sanzo growled, a warning for Hakkai to shut up. Hakkai smartly did and just stood there, watching Sanzo and wondering if the moonlight could make him any more magnificent than he did at that moment. The moonlight caressed Sanzo’s golden locks, enhancing their beauty and reminding Hakkai just how soft those locks were under his fingers. The rays caressed Sanzo’s pale skin, making it shine. He could only liken Sanzo skin to alabaster. It was a thought that never crossed his mind until that very moment. And his eyes lingered on Sanzo’s lips, remembering their warmth and softness. Hakkai wondered, even as his breathing labored, if he could continue this journey without desiring for Sanzo.

Sadly, the answer was no.

Sanzo wondered if Hakkai knew he was being too obvious. He could still feel the weight of Hakkai’s gaze on his body and his body tingled with pleasant shivers crawling all over his skin. Fear had long been replaced with desire. But that desire was only apparent when Hakkai was not pining him down. Sanzo sighed silently. Things are way too complicated. No wonder monks were expected to be celibate. It made life a whole lot easier.

“I don’t know how exactly I feel about you.”

Hakkai snapped awake from his daydreaming and stared at Sanzo.

“What do you mean?” he asked cautiously, refusing to let his hopes soar too high.

“I...I like you. I like being around you. You don’t annoy me and minus this incident, I don’t have a reason to just shoot you.”

Hakkai laughed lightly. “That’s comforting to know,” he said and kept quiet when Sanzo glared at him.

“I didn’t dislike it when you...ah...kissed me,” Sanzo said quietly, an adorable blush staining his cheeks.

Hakkai’s eye widened instantly. His heart beat increased rapidly and was beating so loud he wondered if Sanzo could hear it. His eyes took in Sanzo’s flushed face and he locked it in his memory.

Was this real? Is this really happening?

“Yeah, it’s real.”

Damn it! He had spoken out loud. Flushed with embarrassment, Hakkai looked at the object of his longing.

“Sanzo...please don’t toy with me.”

Sanzo frowned. “Why the hell would I do that? But I am warning you, Hakkai. I like you. End of story. I don’t know if I love you. I don’t know if I can or if it’s wise to do so. When I am with you, you make me feel relaxed. I like that. I don’t want to lose that. This journey is twisted enough.”

Hakkai nodded, a real smile on his face, bright and happy. “Thank you, Sanzo. We will start with that. I am sure, we can start with ‘like’ and work our way up to ‘love’.”

Sanzo snorted but couldn’t quite help the tiny smile that formed. He was once again startled when Hakkai approached him. Hakkai raised his hands to placate him.

“I won’t force you again. I’m sorry I ever did that.”

Sanzo nodded, his eyes watching the brunette, full of questions.

Hakkai wondered if Sanzo had ever looked so vulnerable before in his life and stored the sight once more in his memory.

“Since we are...in a sense...in a certain, relationship, now, can I get a goodnight kiss? Just a kiss,” Hakkai reassured as Sanzo looked at him uncertainly. “Just a kiss. Nothing more...” for now, he thought wickedly.

Sanzo looked uncertain but then, he nodded his head. He did like it when Hakkai kissed him. It had been a wonderful sensation although fear overruled it. He wondered how it would like without the fear.

Hakkai had always been cunning and manipulative. Only an idiot would think otherwise. So it both didn’t surprise Sanzo and infuriated him when Hakkai just slid an arm around Sanzo, pulling the smaller man away from the window and slid his body against Hakkai’s tightly so that their bodies were moulded together. How they fit was a mystery Sanzo wasn’t interested in thinking at the moment. The sheer intimacy of the act, the erotic feel of their bodies pressed tightly together made Sanzo groan and his eyes glazed with pleasure.

He expected Hakkai to just...take as he did before. However, the brunette surprised him when he kissed him slowly, deeply and warmly. He didn’t nibble or nip. He just tasted. He tasted Sanzo as though the man’s lips were coated with chocolate. The heat that spread in Sanzo’s body was slow, simmering and overpowering. His senses were on high alert and he felt Hakkai pressing him even more impossibly closer. Hakkai slid a hand to hold Sanzo’s nape and then caressed the older man’s hair. The feel of soft silk between his fingers made him groan with a deep need.

Sanzo moaned against Hakkai as the taller man’s tongue traced his lips, begging for him to open his mouth. Sanzo obliged, parting his lips and moaned even more when Hakkai slid his tongue inside, tasting him. Unable to keep himself steady without any support, Sanzo lifted his arms and circled Hakkai’s neck, pulling their head closer and leaned in for more support. Hakkai hummed in approval.

Even then, Sanzo realised Hakkai didn’t push. Hakkai only explored Sanzo’s mouth, tasting but not taking. Not yet. There would be time for that later. With a satisfied groan, Hakkai eased back, lifted his head and stared into dark amethyst eyes. He felt a smug satisfaction in knowing this time, Sanzo’s flushed face, red and thoroughly kissed lips and dazed eyes were all his doing. He lightly kissed Sanzo’s lips once more, buried the desire to just drag him to bed and turned to leave.

His last view of Sanzo would also stay in his mind.

The moment the door closed, Sanzo slid down the floor and clutched his head in both confusion and embarrassment. He had never experienced such strong and overwhelming sensations in his life. Groaning, he pushed himself up and dropped into bed, hoping sleep would take him quickly.

It did.

And there were no nightmares to keep him awake.

Unknown to Sanzo, Hakkai had slipped back into the room and was sitting on the floor, his back to the door and his breathe was fast. He had not expected to kiss Sanzo like that. He only wanted to keep it light, to take it slow.

But nothing concerning Sanzo ever followed his plans. Sanzo’s reaction to his kiss was both arousing and surprising. He knew now, that beneath all that wall, was a man wanting to be touched and amazingly passionate. The idea that he could bring out that passion aroused him even more.

Hakkai sighed in contentment. He was definitely going to enjoy courting Sanzo. He flicked his tongue out, tasting the remnants of Sanzo on his lips. Oh yes, he was definitely going to enjoy courting Sanzo. Having felt his reaction and saw his dazed , almost dreamy expression had been so worthwhile. He could still taste Sanzo – strong, sweet and just like that night, a hint of cigarettes. If he had stayed one more minute instead of pulling away, he would have forgotten his promise and taken Sanzo right there on the floor.

Knowing that he was given the chance to love the man he had always dreamed of, Hakkai closed his eyes and purred in contently.

This was worth taking his time.

-Fin-

Hai! This is my first yaoi fic so I'm not really sure how good I am. Hopefully I'll be able to do better =)

First Time

Sat, 23 May 2009 15:16:55 GMT

Hai! I'm really new to this n as this is my first time actually having a journal, I'm really excited!